




























































* 































THE 














4 


THE 

< A 

* 


MARRIAGE OFFERING: 




COMPILATION 


OP 


PROSE AND POETRY. 


uUrU- 


CUr4-0^t t(UAr4A>l4,U<JL> 


14 


SEVENTH EDITION. 


BOSTON: 

WM. CROSBY AND H. P. NICHOLS, 
111 Washington Street. 

1852 . 






jm 






** V 

* \ * 


4 " • 









Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1843, by 
Wm. Crosby and H. P. Nichols, — 
in the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the District of 
Massachusetts. 


GiFT 

MiSS LETIT!A THOMAS 
auo- a 194© 


CA 31 BRIDGE: 

STEREOTYPED BY 

METCALF ASD COMPANY, 
PRINTERS TO THE UNIVERSITY. 











PREFACE. 


The object of this unpretending vol¬ 
ume, compiled at some leisure hours from 
graver studies and duties, is to provide a 
suitable and welcome gift to place in the 
hands of those who have taken the most 
important step in social life. The editor, 
in common, he doubts not, with many of 
his brethren in the ministry, has often felt 
the need of some such little work, not 
too formidable to repel the unprofessional 
reader, nor too long and prosy to fail 
of attracting the attention of light-heart¬ 
ed and joyous youth. Not a few books, 
indeed, of a similar kind are already be¬ 
fore the public ; but the most of them 
dwell with an almost nauseating repeti¬ 
tion upon the romance and ardor of the 
master passion, without a sufficient infu- 




PREFACE. 


iv 

sion of well-principled and judicious ad¬ 
vice, kind and timely caution, practical 
wisdom, and Christian views of the most 
vital of all man’s earthly relations. Give 
the mighty enchanter his due ; let roses 
and smiles — smiles hallowed with tears 
— wait upon the bridal hour. But when 
we follow in imagination the wedded pair 
to their new home, — it may be far from 
kindred and friends, — our purest wishes 
naturally lean to the useful as well as the 
romantic, and as ministers of Him who 
blessed the nuptial feast at Cana, or as 
Christian friends, we desire to give them 
in a permanent form the gathered sweet¬ 
ness of literature and sanctity of religion, 
the immortal words of genius and revela¬ 
tion, to sanction and endear, and crown 
with ever-during affection and blessedness, 
their united destiny. That this work fills 
any such void, it is not for the compiler to 
say. He must content himself with the 
attempt. 

A. A. L. 

Keene, N. H., January 31, 1848. 




CONTENTS 


PAGE 


Marriage Hymn. 

Bishop Heber . 

1 

Advice. 

Mrs. L. M. Child . 

2 

Duties of Husbands and Wives .... 

The Scriptures . 

3 

Adam and Eve. 

Vondel . 

5 

Prayer. 

Judge Smith . 

6 

For Better, for Worse. 

Mrs. Sigourney . 

7 

The Blessing of the Aged. 

B. Franklin . 

8 

The Husband and Wife. 

Krummacher’s Parables. 

9 

Domestic Bliss. 

Anonymous . 

12 

Epithalamium. 

Brainard. . 

13 

Sayings. 

Frederica Bremer . 

14 

Of what Love is made. 

Shakspeare . 

15 

The Bride’s Farewell. 

Mrs. Hemans . 

16 

Youthful Fancies. 

R. Hoyt . 

17 

An Exhortation. 

Dr. Freeman . 

18 

Matrimony. 

Keble . 

20 

Marriage. 

Miss S. W. Livermore ... 

22 

Domestic Life. 

Anonymous . 

25 

To Mrs. M. R. C. E. on her Marriage Henry Ware, Jr. . 

“ What God hath joined together let 

26 

not man put asunder ”. 

C. Follen .. 

27 

The Worship of Home. 

R. Hoyt . 

31 

The Marriage Vow. 

Knickerbocker Magazine. 

32 

Morsels of Wisdom. 

Jeremy Taylor, Dr. Fuller. 34 

Wedding Gifts. 

M. F. Tapper . 

37 


















































vi CONTENTS. 

The Marriage Festival . 

Mrs. Abdy . 

3S 

A Jewish Custom . 

Grosvcnor . 

39 

Reasons for Marriage . 

Burton's Anal. o/Melan. 

40 

The Sacred Tie . 

Airs. Barbauld . 

41 

The Wisdom of Old . 

Ecclesiasticus . 

42 

Love’s Ministers . 

Coleridge . 

43 

A Mother’s Entreaty. 

Mrs. Sigourney . 

44 

Christian Marriage. 

St. Paul .. 

45 

A Chapter for Young Husbands ... . 

Philadelphia Chronicle. . 

46 

The Power of Virtuous Love . 

Henry Ware, Jr . 

52 

The Conjugal Relation . 

C. Brooks . 

54 

Shadows . 

Bridal Wreath . 

57 

Home Joys . 

Bowring . 

59 

The Poetry of Life . 

Channing . 

60 

Excerpts . 

Luther . 

61 

Bridal Wishes . 

Barry Cornwall . 

63 

Love in Marriage . 

Alilton . 

63 

The Marriaee of Cana ... 

(S'. G. Buljinch . 

64 

Our Souls are United . 

Anonymous . 

66 

The Christian Idea of Marriage .... 

A. A. Livermore . 

67 

Love is not a Garden Flower . 

George P. Alorris . 

71 

Scraps . 

Coleridge . 

72 

A Home in the Heart. 

Eliza Cook. . ., 

73 

The Good Wife. 

George W. Burnap . 

74 

From my fate there’s no retreating George P. Morris . 

SO 

Make Home Happy. 

The Family Circle . 

81 

A Little Word . 

Anonymous . 

S3 

reace and Kindness . 

A. A. Livermore . 

84 

Judge Conrad to his Wife . 


86 

Union and Peace . 

Walts. . . , 

87 

Congratulatory Letter . 

John L. Sibley . 

88 

Lines .. 


90 

Mutual Forbearance necessary to the 


Happiness of the Married State . 

Cowper . 

91 

The World to come . 

The Gospel of Luke . 

92 

The Art of Pleasing .. 

Chesterfield . 

93 

The Summons. 

Miss M. W. Hale . 

94 

Let us love one another...... 

Charles Swain . 

95 

Influence of Home. 

R. C. Waterston . 

96 














































































CONTENTS. 

vii 

Country and Home. 

James Montgomery . 

99 

The Contrast.. 

Miss M W. Ilalc . 

100 

Home Friends. 

M. W. Willis . 

101 

Duties at Home. 

Monthly Miscellany . 

103 

Home. 

Bernard Barton . 

106 

Love of Home. 

Bowring . 

103 

Piety promoted by the Domestic Re 



lations. 

Miss Martineau . 

109 

Bear and Forbear. 

Hannah More . 

111 

Prayer at Morning and Evening ... 

Henry Ware, Jr . 

112 

Family Prayer. 

C. Brooks .. 

113 

Neatness . 

Anonymous . 

117 

Domestic Worship. 

C. Wesley . 

118 

Is she not thy Companion?. 

Jay . 

119 

Advice to the Married. 

Dr. John Langhorne .... 

121 

The True Spirit of Married Life ... 

John G. Palfrey . 

122 

True Love’s Progress. 

Richard If. Dana . 

126 

Advantages of Union. 

Lady Rachel Russell .... 

127 

The Philosophy of Marriage. 

M. F. Tapper . 

123 

Domestic Happiness. 

Cowper . 

133 

Pure Love. 

St. John ... 

133 

Return Home from Travel. 

Bowring .. 

134 

The Worth of Home. 

G. G. Ingersoll . 

135 

Love cannot change. 

Shakspeare . 

110 

A Marriage Sermon. 

W. Mountford . 

141 

The Marriage of the Lamb. 

Revelation .. 

162 

Love. 

Campbell . 

163 

Faithful unto Death. 

Ruth . 

164 

The Wish. 

Frisbie . 

165 

Influence of Marriage. 

Chateaubriand . 

166 

This World. 

Thomas Moore . 

163 

Growing Old Together. 

Chambers's Journal . 

169 

Religion at Home. 

J. S. Buckminster . 

170 

The Greatest Curse of Home. 

President Hitchcock . 

171 

Female Faith. 

L. E. London . 

172 

A Re-marriage. 

Seneca County Courier. 

173 

Be kind to each other. 

C. Swain . 

174 

“As being heirs together of the 



grace of life ”. 

Leighton . 

175 












































































Viii CONTENTS. 


Meekness and Lowliness of Heart.. 

Fenelon . 

176 

On a very old Wedding Ring. 

G. W. Doane . 

177 

Family Love. 

Lamartine . 

179 

Immortality of Love. 

Southey . 

180 

Family Meeting. 

Dr. John Ware .. 

181 

The Bride and Bridegroom.. 

St. Paul . 

184 

Domestic Love and Happiness. 

Thomson . 

1S5 

A Testimony. 

Washington Irving . 

1S6 

A Good Wife. 

Sir James Mackintosh ... 

187 

Home Sorrows. 

Bowring . 

190 

The Wife of his Youth. 

Jay . 

191 

John Anderson my Jo. 

Burns . 

192 

The Golden Marriage. 

Frederica Bremer . 

193 

The Fireside. 

Cotton . 

197 

Woman. 

Tennyson .. 

200 

Love the Bond of Society. 

Dr. South . 

201 

The Faithful Wife. 

New York Evangelist. .. 

202 

Life is what we make it. 

, Dewey . 

203 

The Maiden and the Wife. 

R. W. Emerson . 

204 

Bad Habits. 

President Hitchcock . 

204 

She’s still the same to me. 

F. C. Woodworth . 

205 

Reunion in Heaven. 

Cazneau Palfrey. ...... 

206 















































THE 


MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


MARRIAGE HYMN 
-«- 

When on her Maker’s bosom 
The new-born earth was laid, 
And nature’s opening blossom 
Its fairest bloom displayed; 
When all with fruits and flowers 
The laughing soil was dressed, 
And Eden’s fragrant bowers 
Received their human guest,— 

No sin his face defiling, 

The heir of nature stood, 

And God, benignly smiling, 
Beheld that all was good. 

Yet in that hour of blessing 
A single want was known, — 
A wish the heart distressing, — 
For Adam was alone. 

1 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


O God of pure affection, 

By men and saints adored, 

O, give us thy protection 
Around this nuptial board! 

May thy rich bounties ever 
To wedded love be shown, 

And no rude hand dissever 

Whom thou hast linked in one ! 

Bishop Heber. 


ADVICE. 


Books addressed to young married people 
abound with advice to the wife to control her 
temper, and never to utter wearisome com¬ 
plaints or vexatious words when the husband 
comes home fretful or unreasonable from his 
out-of-door conflicts with the world. Would 
not the advice be as excellent and appropri¬ 
ate, if the husband were advised to conquer his 
fretfulness, and forbear his complaints, in con¬ 
sideration of his wife’s ill-health, fatiguing cares, 
and the thousand disheartening influences of 
domestic routine ? In short, whatsoever can 
be named as loveliest, best, and most graceful 
in woman, would likewise be good and graceful 
in man. Mrs. L. M. Child. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


3 


DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES. 


Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter 
against them. 

Let every one of you, in particular, so love 
bis wife even as himself. So ought men to love 
their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth 
his wife loveth himself; for no man ever yet 
hated his own flesh. 

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ 
also loved the Church, and gave himself for it. 

Ye husbands, dwell with your wives accord¬ 
ing to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, 
as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs 
together of the grace of life. 

Rejoice with the wife of thy youth, and be 
thou satisfied always with her love ; for she is 
thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own hus¬ 
bands, as unto the Lord ; for the husband is the 
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of 
the Church. 





4 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


Let the wife see that she reverence her hus¬ 
band. 

Ye wives, be in subjection to your own hus¬ 
bands ; that if any obey not the word, they also 
may, without the word, be won by the conver¬ 
sation of the wives, while they behold your 
chaste conversation, coupled with fear. 

For after this manner, in the old time, the 
holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned 
themselves, being in subjection unto their own 
husbands; even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, call¬ 
ing him lord, whose daughters ye are, as long 
as ye do well. 

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. 

A prudent wife is from the Lord. The heart 
of her husband doth safely trust in her; she will 
do him good, and not evil, all the days of her 
life. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and 
in her tongue is the law of kindness. She look- 
eth well to the ways of her household, and eat- 
eth not the bread of idleness. Her children 
arise up and call her blessed ; her husband also, 
and he praiseth her. The Scriptures. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 5 


ADAM. 

Yes ! now I feel the charm divine, 

Yes ! now I feel the bliss, the pride, 

To press thee, dearest! to my side, 

And join my early vows to thine. 

A unity, in love cemented, 

Blest by thy presence, and by thee 
Gilded with smiles and purity, 

May make my exiled soul contented. 

O sister, — daughter, — fairest bride, — 

What shall I call thee ? — Paradise 
Has million flowers that smiling rise, 

To kiss thy feet well satisfied. 

EYE. 

Love ! one shall be our will, and one 
Our fate, from the first dawn of day, 

When the bright sun begins his way, 

To when his weary course is done. 

Peace, tenderness, and joy, — a shrine 
Sacred to cheerful love, — and praise 
To him, the Lord of ceaseless days, 

Who blended thy fond heart with mine! 

Vondel. 


1 * 





6 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


PRAYER. 


O Lord, we thy servants have now entered 
into a new relation to each other, the holy es¬ 
tate of matrimony. We humbly implore thy 
blessing upon us, that we may faithfully perform 
the vow and covenant betwixt us, and may for 
ever remain, as long as we live, in perfect love 
and peace together, always living according to 
thy holy law. Teach us, by thy good spirit, to 
bear with each other’s infirmities, to love each 
other with a pure, fervent, and sincere affection, 
next in degree to that we owe thee. Grant us, 
if it please thee, health of body and soundness 
of mind, and enable us to promote the joy and 
to alleviate the sorrows of each other; to love 
our parents, relatives, and friends with increased 
affection ; and finally, grant, 0 Holy Father, that 
this new and most intimate connection, by thy 
special blessing, may minister abundantly to our 
comfort and happiness here on earth, and, above 
all, serve the better to prepare us for a happy 
immortality in thy kingdom above. Through 
Jesus Christ, our Lord. Judge Smith. 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE. 

—*— 

Not for the summer’s hour alone, 

When skies resplendent shine, 

And youth and pleasure fill the throne, 

Our hearts and hands we join ; 

But for those stern and wintry days 
Of sorrow, pain, and fear, 

When Heaven’s wise discipline doth make 
Our earthly journey drear. 

Not for this span of life alone, 

Which like a blast doth fly, 

And as the transient flowers of grass, 

Just blossom, droop, and die ; 

But for a being without end, 

This vow of love we take. 

Grant us, O God, one home at last, 

For thy great mercy’s sake ! 

Mrs. Sigourney. 





8 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE BLESSING OF THE AGED. 


Pray make my compliments and best wishes 
acceptable to your bride. I am old and heavy, 
or I should, ere this, have presented them in 
person. I shall make but small use of the old 
man’s privilege, that of giving advice to young¬ 
er friends. Treat your wife always with re¬ 
spect ; it will procure respect to you, not only 
from her, but from all that observe it. Never 
use any slighting expression to her, even in jest; 
for slights in jest, after frequent bandyings, are 
apt to end in angry earnest. Be studious in 
your profession, and you will be learned. Be 
industrious and frugal, and you will be rich. Be 
sober and temperate, and you will be healthy. 
Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy. 
At least, you will, by such conduct, stand the 
best chance for such consequences. I pray God 
to bless you both! being ever your affectionate 
friend, B. Franklin. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 9 


THE HUSBAND AND WIFE. 


When the father of mankind and his wife, 
the mother of the living, had left the lovely gar¬ 
den of Eden, they mourned for many days, and 
said to one another, — “How will our wander¬ 
ing be upon the earth, and who will guide us ? ” 

After this, they came to the cherub with the 
flaming sword, who watched the garden of Eden, 
and Eve leaned upon her husband, and concealed 
herself behind him, as they approached the ce¬ 
lestial guard. 

But Adam beseechingly addressed the cher¬ 
ub:— “Ah! the inhabitants of heaven will no 
longer walk with us, as they have done ; for we 
are unholy, because we have sinned. There¬ 
fore, pray to the Creator of the world, in our 
behalf, that he may send down one of the an¬ 
gels, his servants, who directs the stars in their 
sphere, to guide us in the right path.” 

And the serious cherub answered, — “ Man 
has a star in himself, which will raise him, 




10 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


though he has fallen, above the sun and the 
planets that move in heaven. Follow him! ” 


Then Adam besought him again, and said, — 
“ O thoughtful servant of Jehovah, give us an 
image on which we may look, and which we 
may follow, so as not to lose our path again! 
For, once alienated from what is good, our eyes 
and ears are easily closed against the light and 
the voice within. Point out to us, then, an em¬ 
blem of our wandering.” 

And the cherubic intelligence said to the man 
Adam, — “When the Eternal had formed you 
out of the dust, and in the beams of the morn¬ 
ing light breathed into you the breath of life, 
you lifted your manly head towards heaven, and 
your first glance was directed to the sun. This 
is the emblem of your wandering. With a joy¬ 
ful countenance he commences his course, and 
begins the work of day. He goes neither to 
the right hand nor to the left. He wanders 
forth, scattering light and blessings. He laughs 
at the storm which rages under his feet, and 
comes out of enveloping clouds with a shining 
face, and in the splendor of his magnificence 
he finishes his fruitful, heroic course. Serious 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 11 


man, this is the emblem of your earthly wan¬ 
dering.” 

Thus spake the cherub, and the son of dust 
bowed himself before him, and was speechless. 


And the sweet mother of the living ap¬ 
proached the heavenly messenger, blushing, 
and besought him with her enchanting voice, 
— “ O, address to me, thou holy one, a word 
of comfort and instruction! How can a weak 
woman look at the high, bright star of day, and 
walk in his path ? ” 

Thus Eve besought him, and the cherub pit¬ 
ied the tender woman, and said, with a smiling 
countenance, — “ When the Infinitely Good 
formed you, and, in the brightness of sunset, 
breathed into your bosom the breath of life, you 
did not look towards heaven, but your eyes rest¬ 
ed on the flowers and grass of Eden, and on 
the fragrant shrubs and the fruitful trees of the 
lovely valley, and the purling rivulet that flow¬ 
ed along. Thus your work is like the silent 
changes of the maternal earth. Without noise 
and dazzling splendor, she travels her peaceful 
path. Silently and imperceptibly she brings 
forth out of her fulness grass, plants, and trees, 





12 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


brooks and rivulets; softly, and unobserved, she 
nourishes her children in her lap, and they grow 
into flowers and fruit, and her own productions 
are her ornament. Gentle woman, this is the 
emblem of your wandering on the earth. And 
your union,” said the cherub, “ man and wife, 
it is the sweet union of the celestial lumina¬ 
ries ! ” 

Thus spake the cherub. And there arose a 
gentle whisper from the earth; and the spirit 
of the Lord was there, and gave testimony to 
the words of the cherub. 

But Adam and his wife Eve fell on their 
faces, and prayed, and Eve trembled greatly, 
and wept. 

Krummacher’s Parables. 


DOMESTIC BLISS. 

—♦— 

Domestic bliss, 

That can, the world eluding, be itself 
A world enjoyed,— that wants no witnesses 
But its own sharers, and approving Heaven,— 
That, like a flower deep hid in rocky cleft, 
Smiles, though’t is looking only at the sky. 

Anonymous. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 13 


EPITHALAMIUM. 

—♦— 

I saw two clouds at morning, 

Tinged with the rising sun, 

And in the dawn they floated on, 

And mingled into one : 

I thought that morning cloud was blest, 

It moved so sweetly to the west. 

I saw two summer currents 

Flow smoothly to their meeting, 

And join their course, with silent force, 

In peace each other greeting : 

Calm was their course, through banks of green, 
While dimpling eddies played between. 

Such be your gentle motion, 

Till life’s last pulse shall beat; 

Like summer’s beam and summer’s stream 
Float on, in joy, to meet 
A calmer sea, where storms shall cease, — 

A purer sky, where all is peace. 

Brainard. 

2 





14 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


SAYINGS. 


Many a marriage begins like the rosy morn¬ 
ing, and then falls away like a snow-wreath. 
And why ? Because the married pair neglect 
to be as well pleasing to each other after mar¬ 
riage as before. Endeavour always to please 
one another; but at the same time keep God in 
your thoughts. 

Lavish not all your love on to-day; for re¬ 
member that marriage has its to-morrow like¬ 
wise, and its day after to-morrow, too. Spare, 
as one may say, fuel for the winter. 

Deceive not one another in small things or 
in great. One little, single lie has, before now, 
disturbed a whole married life. 

A small cause has often great consequences. 

Fold not the hands together, and sit idle. 
“ Laziness is the Devil’s cushion.” Do not run 
much from home. “ One’s own hearth is gold 
worth.” 

The married woman is her husband’s do- 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 15 

mestic faith; in her hands he must be able to 
confide house and family, be able to intrust to 
her the key of his heart, as well as the key of 
his eating-room. His honor and his home are 
under her keeping; his well-being is in her 
hand. Think of this, O wife ! 

Young men, be faithful husbands and good 
fathers of families. Act so that your wives 
shall esteem and love you. Read the word of 
God industriously; that will conduct you through 
storm and calm, and safely bring you to the ha¬ 
ven at last. 

Frederica Bremer. 


OF WHAT LOVE IS MADE. 

- ♦ 

It is to be all made of sighs and tears ; 

It is to be all made of faith and service; 

It is to be all made of fantasy, 

All made of passion, and all made of wishes; 
All adoration, duty, and observance, 

All humbleness, all patience, and impatience. 
All purity, all trial, all obeisance. 

Shakspeare. 






16 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE BRIDE’S FAREWELL. 

—*— 1 

Why do I weep to leave the vine 
Whose clusters o’er me bend,— 

The myrtle, — yet, O, call it mine ! — 

The flowers I loved to tend ? 

A thousand thoughts of all things dear 
Like shadows o’er me sweep ; 

I leave my sunny childhood here,— 

O, therefore, let me weep! 

I leave thee, sister ! we have played 
Through many a joyous hour, 

Where the silvery green of the olive shade 
Hung dim o’er fount and bower. 

Yes ! thou and I, by stream, by shore, 

In song, in prayer, in sleep, 

Have been as we may be no more ; — 

Kind sister, let me weep ! 

I leave thee, father ! eve’s bright moon 
Must now light other feet, 

With the gathered grapes and the lyre in tune. 
Thy homeward steps to greet. 

Thou, in whose voice, to bless thy child, 

Lay tones of love so deep,— 

Whose eye o’er all my youth hath smiled,— 

I leave thee ! — let me weep ! 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 17 


Mother, I leave thee! On thy breast, 

Pouring out joy and woe, 

I have found that holy place of rest 
Still changeless,— yet I go \ 

Lips that have lulled me with your strain, 
Eyes that have watched my sleep, 

Will earth give love like yours again ? 

Sweet mother, let me weep ! 

Mrs. Heman9. 


YOUTHFUL FANCIES. 

- -» - 

So pencilled he, that youth, with raptured feeling, 
Yet serene, 

The guileless fountain of his heart revealing, 

That fair scene ; — 

And she, elate, delight in each blue eye, 

Made sweet reply. 

’T was hers to paint the dear domestic heaven 
That she knew, — 

The tranquil joys, from early mom till even, 

Pure and true, — 

The peace that seeks more oft the cottage gate 
Than courtly state. 

R. Hoyt. 

2* 






18 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


AN EXHORTATION. 


In the words of St. Paul, I exhort you, who 
are a husband, to love your wife, even as you 
love yourself. Give honor to her, as the more 
delicate vessel; respect the delicacy of her frame 
and the delicacy of her mind. Continue through 
life the same attention, the same manly tender¬ 
ness, which in youth gained her affections. Re¬ 
flect, that, though her bodily charms are decay¬ 
ed as she is advanced in age, yet that her men¬ 
tal charms are increased; and that, though nov¬ 
elty is worn off, yet that habit and a thousand 
acts of kindness have strengthened your mutual 
friendship. Devote yourself to her ; and, after 
the hours of business, let the pleasures which 
you most highly prize be found in her society. 

I exhort you, who are a wife, to be gentle and 
condescending to your husband. Let the influ¬ 
ence which you possess over him arise from the 
mildness of your manners and the discretion of 
your conduct. Whilst you are careful to adorn 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 19 

your person with neat and clean apparel, — for 
no woman can long preserve affection, if she 
is negligent in this point, — be still more atten¬ 
tive in ornamenting your mind with meekness 
and peace, with cheerfulness and good-humor. 
Lighten the cares, and chase away the vexa¬ 
tions, to which men in their commerce with the 
world are unavoidably exposed, by rendering his 
house pleasant to your husband. Keep at home; 
let your employments be domestic, and your 
pleasures domestic. 

To both husband and wife I say, — Preserve 
a strict guard over your tongues, that you never 
utter any thing which is rude, contemptuous, or 
severe ; and over your tempers, that you never 
appear sullen and morose. Endeavour to be 
perfect yourselves, but expect not too much 
from each other. If any offence arises, forgive 
it; and think not that a human being can be 
exempt from faults. 

Dr. Freeman. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


20 


MATRIMONY. 

—♦— 

There is an awe in mortals’ joy j 
A deep, mysterious fear 
Half of the heart will still employ, 

As if we drew too near 
To Eden’s portal, and those fires 
That bicker round in wavy spires, 
Forbidding, to our frail desires, 

What cost us once so dear. 

We cower before the heart-searching eye 
In rapture, as in pain ; 

Even wedded Love, till Thou be nigh, 
Dares not believe her gain : 

Then in the air she fearless springs, 

The breath of Heaven beneath her wings, 
And leaves her wood-note wild, and sings 
A tuned and measured strain. 

Ill fare the lay, though soft as dew 
And free as air it fall, 

That, with thine altar full in view, 

Thy votaries would inthrall 
To a foul dream of heathen night, 

Lifting her torch in Love’s despite, 

And scaring with base wildfire light 
The sacred nuptial hall! 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 21 


Far other strains, far other fires, 

Our marriage offering grace; 

Welcome all chaste and kind desires, 

With even, matron pace 
Approaching down the hallowed aisle ! 

Where should ye seek Love’s perfect smile, 
But where your prayers were learned erewhile, 
In her own native place ? 

Where, but on His benignest brow 
Who waits to bless you here ? 

Living, He owned no nuptial vow, 

No bower to fancy dear; 

Love’s very self, — for Him no need 
To nurse, on earth, the heavenly seed j 
Yet comfort in His eye we read 
For bridal joy and fear. 

*T is He wild clasps the marriage band, 

And fits the spousal ring, 

Then leaves ye kneeling, hand in hand, 

Out of His stores to bring 
His father’s dearest blessing, shed 
Of old on Isaac’s nuptial bed, 

Now on the board before ye spread 
Of our all-bounteous King. 

Keble. 




22 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


MARRIAGE. 


That marriage is a divine institution requires 
no argument to prove. Divine revelation and 
common sense combine to show, that, without it, 
the human race would become extinct, or so 
deteriorated that life would be no longer a bless- 
ing. To talk, then, of the trials, the evils, the 
hardships, attendant upon the married state, as 
being incidents which all might avoid, or all 
might expect who rashly venture their all on 
the great gambling-board of humanity, is as 
absurd as it would be to discuss the matter 
whether we should ever eat, because some, by 
so doing, have choked themselves; whether we 
should ever drink, because some have inadver¬ 
tently, in allaying their thirst, swallowed poison, 
or, still more frequently, steeped their senses 
in the inebriating cup. Trials, cares, and afflic¬ 
tions are attendant on this probationary state. 
This life, though spread out before us with 
many charms, with much of comfort and hap- 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 23 


piness, is not to be a state of perfect, unalloyed 
enjoyment; else Christianity would not point to 
a better, even a heavenly. A due estimate of 
these things would irradiate many a dark spot 
in human existence, and gather from the clouds 
of adversity a salutary dew to nourish the plants 
of mortality,—a panacea to invigorate the spir¬ 
itual nature, and bear it onward and upward to 
its destined heaven. Is there no means, then, 
by which to regulate our life, our situation in 
the social and domestic constitution of things, 
so as to put to silence gainsayers ? There is. 
It is a religious, philosophical education. 

Marriage, to be that divine institution which 
God has authorized, should be founded, not on 
the multitude of worldly motives which stand 
out as prominent objects to the unthinking world, 
not on that animal disposition which is in keep¬ 
ing with all lower orders of beings, but it should 
be a spiritual union, an intercourse of soul with 
soul; else our Divine Master would not have 
said, — “ For this cause shall a man forsake fa¬ 
ther and mother, and cleave to his wife, and 
they twain shall be one.” If a tree be good, 
the fruit will be good also. Here, then, is the 
great point in which so many fail of attaining 
that degree of happiness which might be en- 







24 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


joyed in this transitory state. They build on a 
sandy foundation; and when the floods of evil 
come, which are inseparable from human na¬ 
ture, their house falls, the whole fabric is swept 
away. We hear it said, that marriage is a lot¬ 
tery. Why is it so ? Because the parties, like 
Western-land speculators, venture their all on 
the ever-fluctuating current of public opinion, 
or vainly believe in the validity of unauthorized 
titles. How shall this evil be rectified ? By 
rightly teaching the young. Mothers must first 
estimate what is truly valuable, and then teach 
it to their children. Until a race shall grow up 
to appreciate the superiority of the intellectual 
and spiritual over the animal nature, there will 
be incongruous connections, founded on the love 
of wealth, or some other of the lower propensi¬ 
ties of human nature, the result of which will 
be personal misfortunes, and the entailment of 
a host of evils which words cannot describe. 
Were these things duly estimated, no jarring el¬ 
ements would be abroad, turning the world up¬ 
side down. Unhallowed motives would no more 
rule, to bring the weak in subjection to the strong. 
War and slavery would not exist within the so¬ 
cial and domestic circle ; concord and harmony 
would prevail. Unholy passions would not mar 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 25 

this glorious creation. Then, in the words of 
one of our poets, — 

“ Life’s blessings all enjoyed, their labors done, 
Serenely to their rest have passed the aged.” 

For no premature deaths would come to break 
up the hallowed relations of life, until its de¬ 
clining sun should sink to rest with a mild, un¬ 
clouded light. 

Miss S. W. Livermore. 


DOMESTIC LIFE. 


The only fountain, in the wilderness of life, 
where man drinks of water totally unmixed with 
bitter ingredients, is that which gushes for him 
in the calm and shady recess of domestic life. 
Pleasure may heat the heart with artificial ex¬ 
citement, ambition may delude it with golden 
dreams, war may eradicate its fine fibres and 
diminish its sensitiveness, but it is only domestic 
love that can render it truly happy. 

Anonymous. 

3 






26 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


TO MRS. M. R. C. E. 

ON HER MARRIAGE, DECEMBER 6, 1832. 

To guard the marriage ring, 

Another ring I send ; 

Protector of that sacred thing, 

About your finger let it cling, 

And with its magic circle blend, 

The image of your absent friend. 

To guard the marriage vow, 

Another vow must bind, — 

To Him whose care and grace allow 
The cheerful hopes that gladden now, 

And in whose love the trusting mind 
Its only deathless home can find. 

That heavenly love shall be 
The strength to this of earth ; 

Shall guard its truth and purity, 

From change, decay, and sorrow free, 

And pour upon your humble hearth 
A light of pure, celestial birth. 

Henry Ware, Jr. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


27 


“ WHAT GOD HATH JOINED TOGETHER LET 
NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER.” 

THE SKELETON OF A SERMON. 

This shows marriage to be the principal of 
all relations; for so soon as it is formed, it takes 
precedence even of the parental. Marriage is 
a union of love between one man and one 
woman, devoting themselves in strictest intima¬ 
cy and with exclusive fidelity to perpetual mu¬ 
tual improvement. 

Foundation of marriage. Love, i. e. inter¬ 
est in perfection ; interest in each other’s per¬ 
fection. 

Object. To preserve and promote their phys¬ 
ical, moral, and religious perfection. 

The object is evidently a permanent one. 
Hence the importance that the union should be 
formed with a view to the whole life of man, 
both that which now is and that which is to 
come. 

Love an eternal principle. Hence all false, 
all merely temporal motives are wrong. 




28 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

Parents are apt to have low motives upon the 
subject. They educate their daughters to be 
married, setting love aside. The poor have a 
great advantage. Saying among the French, 
— 44 Us aiment comme les pauvres.” 

Religion. 44 Alas for those who love, and 
cannot blend in prayer! ” It is not agreement 
in opinion, but the existence of a devotional be¬ 
lief in the invisible, a tendency to the infinite, a 
respect for each other’s religious freedom, which 
is necessary. Dangerous to undertake to re¬ 
form a man by marriage. 

Duties. Mutual respect, as partakers of the 
same moral nature. The likeness of God the 
object of respect. The same in husband and 
wife. 44 God created man in his own image, 
male and female created he them.” Here 
the word man evidently implies both man and 
woman. 

44 Female mind” and “female heart” about 
as proper as 44 female conscience.” The mar¬ 
riage state cannot change the principal ground 
of equal mutual respect; otherwise it would be 
a degrading, immoral connection. 

Equality of the sexes. Equal moral obliga¬ 
tions. The Saviour gave the true standard of 
moral purity in this relation. Shameful par- 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 29 

tiality of the laws, and of the customs of socie¬ 
ty, and of philosophizing men of the world, upon 
this subject. 

Provident industry a duty of equal obligation. 
Mutual obedience to each other’s superior judg¬ 
ment. Perfect truth. Never laying up unset¬ 
tled difficulties. No secrets from each other. 
Patient, hopeful, self-sacrificing devotion to each 
other’s physical, intellectual, moral, and religious 
welfare. Danger of the daily and family little 
cares of household duties dimming the sense of 
the great object of married life. 

Their final separation, at first sight, a source 
of unmixed suffering, and reunion, of perfect 
joy. Yet the prospect of separation is calcu¬ 
lated to make the joy, which naturally attends 
a union of heart, perfect, by giving it a moral 
character ; and, on the other hand, reunion can 
be looked forward to as a blessing only in con¬ 
nection with moral progress, without which it 
must turn into a source of pain. 

The thought of separation is calculated to 
heighten our joy by spiritualizing our affections. 
Reunion must depend on the strength of pres¬ 
ent affection. It may be a source of pain or 
joy, according to our deserts. 

One advances, the other remains behind. A 

3 * 




30 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


man may look upon the years he survives his 
friend as a means of rendering himself more 
worthy of a reunion. Preparation for separa¬ 
tion is the same as preparation for reunion. 
The samlreffort necessary for both. 

The union between Simon Marechal and his 
wife was a true union. They were condemned 
to death on account of their religious opinions. 
When they approached the flames which were 
to consume them both, she turned to her hus¬ 
band, and said to him, — “Dear husband, our 
marriage has hitherto been but an engagement. 
This is our true wedding-day, when, after this 
trifling torment, the Son of God will marry us 
for eternity.” 

Grounds of dissolution of marriage. The ten¬ 
dency to mutual improvement is the founda¬ 
tion, the tendency to mutual degradation is the 
destruction, of marriage. It is the moral de¬ 
struction of it, whether the law keep it up by 
coercion or not. If the sinful tendency leaves 
room for hope, the separation should be tempo¬ 
rary only; if there is no reasonable hope of 
amendment, it should be permanent. The two 
solemn and affecting thoughts, separation by 
death, and reunion in the life to come, form the 
painful expectation and the inspiring hope of 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 31 

every human friendship, every bond of affec¬ 
tion in this world. 

C. Follen. 


THE WORSHIP OF HOME. 

—» — 

Now rises from around the fire 
A pleasant strain; 

Ye giddy sons of mirth, retire, 

And ye profane ! 

A hymn to the Eternal Sire 
Goes up again. 

The patriarchal Book divine, 

Upon the knee, 

Opes where the gems of Judah shine, * 
(Sweet minstrelsie !) i* 

How soars each heart with each fair line, 
O God, to Thee ! 

Around the altar low they bend, 

Devout in prayer; 

As snows upon the roof descend, 

So angels there 

Guard o’er that household, to defend 
With gentle care. 

R. Hoyt. 






32 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE MARRIAGE VOW. 

“ Look how they come! — a mingled crowd 
Of bright and dark, but rapid, days ; 

Beneath them, like a summer cloud, 

The wide world changes as ye gaze.” 

Byron. 

Speak it not lightly ! — ’t is a holy thing, 

A bond enduring through long distant years, 

When joy o’er thine abode is hovering, 

Or when thine eye is wet with bitterest tears; 
Recorded by an angel’s pen on high, 

And must be questioned in eternity. 

Speak it not lightly ! — though the young and gay 
Are thronging round thee now, with tones of mirth, 
Let not the holy promise of to-day 

Fade like the clouds that with the morn have birth; 
But ever bright and sacred may it be, 

Stored in the treasure-cell of memory. 

Life will not prove all sunshine ; there will come 
Dark hours for all. O, will ye, when the night 
Of sorrow gathers thickly round your home, 

Love as ye did in times when calm and bright 
Seemed the sure path ye trod, untouched by care, 

And deemed the future, like the present, fair ? 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 33 


Eyes that now beam with health may yet grow dim, 
And cheeks of rose forget their early glow; 
Languor and pain assail each active limb, 

And lay, perchance, some worshipped beauty low; 
Then will ye gaze upon the altered brow, 

And love as fondly, faithfully, as now ? 

Should fortune frown on your defenceless head, 

Should storms o’ertake your bark, on life’s dark sea, 
Fierce tempests rend the sail so gayly spread 
When Hope her syren strain sang joyously,— 

Will ye look up, though clouds your sky o’ercast, 

And say, Together we will bide the blast ? 

Age, with its silvery locks, comes stealing on, 

And brings the tottering step, the furrowed cheek, 
The eye from which each lustrous beam hath gone, 
And the pale lip, with accents low and weak; 

Will ye then think upon your life’s gay prime, 

And, smiling, bid Love triumph over Time ? 

Speak it not lightly ! O, beware, beware ! 

’T is no vain promise, no unmeaning word; 

Lo ! men and angels lisp the faith ye swear, 

And by the High and Holy One’t is heard : 

O, then, kneel humbly at His altar now, 

And pray for strength to keep your marriage vow ! 

Knickerbocker Magazine. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


34 


MORSELS OF WISDOM. 

♦ 

The first blessing God gave to man was soci- 
ty, and that society was marriage, and that mar¬ 
riage was confederate by God himself, and hal¬ 
lowed by a blessing. 

Marriage is a school and exercise of virtue ; 
and though marriage hath cares, yet the single 
life hath desires which are more troublesome 
and more dangerous, and often end in sin, while 
the cares are but instances of duty and exercises 
of piety; and therefore, if single life hath more 
privacy of devotion, yet marriage hath more ne¬ 
cessities and more variety of it, and is an ex¬ 
ercise of more graces. Here is the proper scene 
of piety and patience, of the duty of parents 
and the charity of relatives; here kindness is 
spread abroad, and love is united and made firm 
as a centre. Marriage is the mother of the 
world, and preserves kingdoms, and fills cities, 
and churches, and heaven itself. 

They that enter into the state of marriage 
cast a die of the greatest contingency, and yet 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 35 

of the greatest interest in the world, next to the 
last throw for eternity. Life or death, felicity 
or a lasting sorrow, are in the power of mar¬ 
riage. 

Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid 
all offences of each other in the beginning of 
their conversation : every little thing can blast 
an infant blossom ; and the breath of the south 
can shake the little rings of the vine, when first 
they begin to curl like the locks of a new-wean¬ 
ed boy; but when, by age and consolidation, 
they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and 
have, by the warm embraces of the sun and 
the kisses of heaven, brought forth their clus¬ 
ters, they can endure the storms of the north 
and the loud noises of a tempest, and yet never 
be broken: so are the early unions of an un¬ 
fixed marriage ; watchful and observant, jealous 
and busy, inquisitive and careful, and apt to take 
alarm at every unkind word. After the hearts 
of the man and the wife are endeared and har¬ 
dened by a mutual confidence and experience, 
longer than artifice and pretence can last, there 
are a great many remembrances, and some 
things present, that dash all little unkindnesses 
in pieces. 

Let man and wife be careful to stifle little 




36 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

things, that, as fast as they spring, they be cut 
down and trod upon; for if they be suffered 
to grow by numbers, they make the spirit peev¬ 
ish, and the society troublesome, and the affec¬ 
tions loose and easy by an habitual aversation. 

Let the husband and wife infinitely avoid a 
curious distinction of mine and thine; for this 
hath caused all the laws, and all the suits, and 
all the wars in the world. Let them who have 
but one person have also but one interest. 

For as the heart is set in the midst of the 
body, and though it strikes to one side by the 
prerogative of nature, yet those throbs and con¬ 
stant motions are felt on the other side also, and 
the influence is equal to both: so it is in conju¬ 
gal duties, some motions are to the one side more 
than to the other; but the interest is on both, 
and the duty is equal in the several instances. 

Jeremy Taylor. 


Deceive not thyself by over-expecting happi¬ 
ness in the married state. Look not therein for 
contentment greater than God will give, or a 
creature in this world can receive, namety, to 
be free from all inconveniences. Marriage is 
not like the hill Olympus, wholly clear, without 
clouds. Remember the nightingales, which sing 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 37 

only some months in the spring, but commonly 
are silent when they have hatched their eggs, 
as if their mirth were turned into care for their 
young ones. 

Make account of certain cares and troubles 
which will attend thee. 

It is the worst clandestine marriage when God 
is not invited to it. 

Moderation is the silken string running through 
the pearl-chain of all virtues. 

Dr. Fuller. 


WEDDING GIFTS. 

—♦— 

Young bride, a wreath for thee, 

Of sweet and gentle flowers ! 

For wedded love was pure and free 
In Eden’s happy bowers. 

Young bride, a prayer for thee ! 

That, all thy hopes possessing, 

Thy soul may praise her God, and he 
May crown thee with his blessing. 

M. F. Tupper. 
4 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


38 


THE MARRIAGE FESTIVAL. 


“ Festivities are fit for what is happily concluded; at the com¬ 
mencement, they but waste the force and zeal which should inspire 
us. Of all festivities, the marriage festival appears the most un¬ 
suitable; calmness, humility, and silent hope befit no ceremony 
more than this.” — Goethe. 


Lady, thy merry marriage bells are ringing, 

And all around thee speaks of festal mirth ; 

The loss of one so good and fair is bringing, 

Methinks, strange gladness to her father’s hearth; 
Yet thou amid the throng art pensive sitting, 

And well I know these revels cloud thy bliss, 
And that thou deem’st such triumph unbefitting 
A solemn and important rite like this. 


These flowery wreaths, these sounds of exultation, 
Some victor’s glorious deeds might celebrate ; 

But thou canst claim no proud congratulation,— 
Untried, uncertain, is thy future fate ; 

Nor would true friends a brilliant spell cast o’er thee, 
Giving to girlhood’s dreams delusive scope, 

But rather bid thee view the scene before thee 
With calm humility and silent hope. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


39 


Thine is a path by snares and toils attended, 

Yet, lady, in thy prudence I confide; 

Thou art not by mere mortal aid befriended, — 
Prayer is thy stay, and Providence thy guide : 
And should thy coming years with ills be laden, 
Thou safely mayst abide the storms of life, 

If the meek virtues of the Christian maiden 
Shine forth as brightly in the Christian wife. 

Mrs. Abdv. 


A JEWISH CUSTOM. 


The Jews had a custom, at their wedding 
feasts, for the married couple to drink in the 
same glass together, and then to break it in 
pieces ; teaching them, by that emblem, that, 
whatever felicity they expected together, their 
lives, upon which it all depended, were frail 
and brittle as glass. No sooner joined, but they 
were warned to prepare for separation. So, in 
our form of matrimony, the clause, “ until death 
us do part,” is a memento to the same purpose. 

Grosvenor. 











40 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


REASONS FOR MARRIAGE. 


In Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy there 
are twelve reasons in favor of marriage, of 
which the first six are as follows: — 

1 Hast thou means ? Thou hast one to keep 
and increase it. 

2. Hast none ? Thou hast one to help to 
get it. 

3. Art in prosperity? Thine happiness is 
doubled. 

4. Art in adversity ? She ’ll comfort, assist, 
bear a part of thy burden, to make it more tol¬ 
erable. 

5. Art at home ? She ’ll drive away melan¬ 
choly. 

6. Art abroad ? She looks after thee going 
from home, wishes for thee in thine absence, 
and joyfully welcomes thy return. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


41 


THE SACRED TIE. 


How blest the sacred tie that binds 
In union sweet according minds! 

How swift the heavenly course they run, 

Whose hearts, whose faith, whose hopes, are one ! 

To each the soul of each how dear! 

What jealous love, what holy fear ! 

How doth the generous flame within 
Refine from earth, and cleanse from sin ! 

Their streaming tears together flow 
For human guilt and mortal woe ; 

Their ardent prayers together rise, 

Like mingling flames in sacrifice;. 

Together both they seek the place 
Where God reveals his awful face ; 

How high, how strong, their raptures swell, 

There’s none but kindred souls can tell. 

Nor shall the glowing flame expire, 

When Nature droops her sickening fire ; 

Then shall they meet in realms above, — 

A heaven of joy, because of love ! 

Mrs. Barbauld. 





42 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE WISDOM OF OLD. 


Forego not a wise and good woman; for her 
grace is above gold. 

Hast thou a wife after thy mind? Forsake 
her not. 

Be not jealous over the wife of thy bosom, 
and teach her not an evil lesson against thyself. 

In three things I was beautified, and stood up 
beautiful both before God and men; the unity 
of brethren, the love of neighbours, a man and 
a wife that agree together. 

Well is him that dwelleth with a wife of un¬ 
derstanding. 

Blessed is the man that hath a virtuous wife, 
for the number of his days shall be double. 

A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband, and 
he shall fulfil the years of his life in peace. 

A good wife is a good portion, which shall be 
given in the portion of them that fear the Lord. 

The grace of a wife delighteth her husband, 
and her discretion will fatten his bones. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 43 

A silent and loving woman is a gift of the 
Lord ; and there is nothing so much worth as a 
mind well instructed. 

A shamefaced and faithful woman is a double 
grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued. 

As the sun when it ariseth in the high heaven, 
so is the beauty of a good wife in the ordering 
of her house. 

Children and the building of a city continue 
a man’s name; but a blameless wife is counted 
above them both. 

The pipe and the psaltery make sweet melo¬ 
dy ; but a pleasant tongue is above them both. 

A friend and companion never meet amiss; 
but above both is a wife with her husband. 

Ecclesiasticus. 


LOVE’S MINISTERS. 

—♦— 

All thoughts, all passions, all delights, 
Whatever stirs this mortal frame, 

All are but ministers of Love, 

And feed his sacred flame. 

Coleridge. 






44 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


A MOTHER’S ENTREATY. 

—♦— 

Deal gently, thou whose hand hath won 
The young bird from its nest away, 

Where, careless, ’neath a vernal sun, 

She gayly carolled day by day; 

The haunt is lone, the heart must grieve, 
From whence her timid wing doth soar; 
They pensive list, at hush of eve, 

Yet hear her gushing song no more. 

Deal gently with her; thou art dear 
Beyond what vestal lips have told, 

And, like a lamb from fountains clear, 

She turns confiding to thy fold; 

She round thy sweet domestic bower 
The wreath of changeless love shall twine, 
Watch for thy step at vesper-hour, 

And blend her holiest prayer with thine. 

Deal gently thou, when, far away, 

’Mid stranger scenes, her foot shall rove, 
Nor let thy tender care decay, — 

The soul of woman lives in love ; 

And shouldst thou, wondering, mark a tear, 
Unconscious, from her eyelids break, 

Be pitiful, and soothe the fear 
That man’s strong heart may ne’er partake. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


45 


A mother yields her gem to thee, 

On thy true breast to sparkle rare, — 

She places ’neath thy household tree 
The idol of her fondest care,— 

And, by thy trust to be forgiven, 

When judgment wakes in terror wild, 

By all thy treasured hopes of heaven, 

Deal gently with the widow’s child. 

Mrs. Sigourney. 


CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. 

—♦— 

A bishop, then, must be blameless, the bus- 
band of one wife. 

Even so must their wives be grave, not slan¬ 
derous ; sober, faithful in all things. 

Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, 
ruling their children and their own houses well. 

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the 
latter times some shall depart from the faith, for¬ 
bidding to marry. 

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed un¬ 
defiled. 

Let them learn first to show piety at home. 

St. Paul. 






46 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


A CHAPTER FOR YOUNG HUSBANDS. 


Walking, the other day, with a valuable 
friend, who had been confined a week or two 
by sickness to his room, he remarked that a 
husband might learn a good lesson by being oc¬ 
casionally confined to his house, by having in 
this way an opportunity of witnessing the cares 
and never-ending toils of his wife, whose bur¬ 
dens and duties and patient endurance he might 
never have otherwise understood. There is a 
great deal in this thought, perhaps enough for 
an “editorial.” Men, especially young men, 
are called by their business during the day most¬ 
ly away from home, returning only at the hours 
for meals; and as they can see nearly the same 
routine of duty, they begin to think that it is 
their own lot to perform all the drudgery, and 
to be exercised with all the weight of care and 
responsibility. But such a man has got a very 
wrong view of the case; he needs an opportu¬ 
nity for more extended observation, and it is 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 47 


perhaps for this very reason that a kind Provi¬ 
dence arrests him by sickness, that he may learn 
in pain what he would fail to observe in health. 
We have seen recently a good many things said 
in the papers to wives, especially to young wives, 
exposing their faults, perhaps magnifying them, 
and expounding to them, in none of the kindest 
terms, their duty and the offices pertaining to 
u woman’s sphere.” Now we believe that wives, 
as a whole, are really better than they are gen¬ 
erally admitted to be. We doubt if there can 
be found a large number of wives who are dis¬ 
agreeable and negligent, without some palpable 
coldness or short-coming on the part of their 
husbands. So far as we have had an opportu¬ 
nity for observation, they are far more devoted 
and faithful than those who style themselves 
their lords, and who, by the customs of society, 
have other and generally more pleasant and va¬ 
ried duties to perform. We protest, then, against 
these lectures so often and so obtrusively ad¬ 
dressed to the ladies, and insist upon it that they 
must — most of them — have been written by 
some fusty old bachelor who knew no better, or 
by some inconsiderate husbands who deserve to 
have been old bachelors to the end of their lives. 
But is there nothing to be said on the other 




48 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


side ? Are husbands so generally the perfect, 
amiable, injured beings they are so often rep¬ 
resented ? Men sometimes declare that their 
wives’ extravagance has picked their pockets, 
and that their never-ceasing tongues have robbed 
them of their peace, and their general disagree¬ 
ableness has driven them to the tavern and 
gaming-table; but this is generally the wicked 
excuse for a most wicked life on their own part. 
The fact is, men often lose their interest in their 
homes by their neglect to make their homes in¬ 
teresting and pleasant. It should never be for¬ 
gotten that the wife has her rights, — as sacred 
after marriage as before, — and a good husband’s 
devotion to the wife after marriage will concede 
to her quite as much attention as his gallantry 
did while a lover. If it is otherwise, he most 
generally is at fault. 

Take a few examples. Before marriage, a 
young man would feel some delicacy about ac¬ 
cepting an invitation to spend an evening in com¬ 
pany where his “ ladye love ” had not been in¬ 
vited. After marriage, is he always as particu¬ 
lar? During the days of courtship, his gallan¬ 
try would demand that he should make himself 
agreeable to her; after marriage, it often hap¬ 
pens that he thinks more of being agreeable to 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 49 

himself. How often it happens, that a married 
man, after having been away from home the 
livelong day, during which the wife has toiled 
at her duties, goes at evening again to some 
place of amusement, and leaves her to toil on 
alone, uncheered and unhappy ! How often it 
happens that her kindest offices pass unobserved, 
and unrewarded even by a smile, and her best 
efforts are condemned by the fault-finding hus¬ 
band ! How often it happens, even when the 
evening is spent at home, that it is employed in 
silent reading, or some other way, that does not 
recognize the wife’s right to share in the enjoy¬ 
ments even of the fireside ! 

Look, ye husbands, for a moment, and re¬ 
member what your wife was when you took her, 
not from compulsion, but from your own choice; 
a choice based, probably, on what you then con¬ 
sidered her superiority to all others. She was 
young,— perhaps the idol of her happy home ; 
she was gay and blithe as the lark, and the 
brothers and sisters at her father’s fireside cher¬ 
ished her as an object of endearment. Yet she 
left'all to join her destiny with yours, to make 
your home happy, and to do all that woman’s 
ingenuity could devise to meet your wishes and 
to lighten the burdens which might press upon 

5 





50 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

you in your pilgrimage. She, of course, had 
her expectations too. She could not entertain 
feelings which promised so much, without form¬ 
ing some idea of reciprocation on your part, and 
she did expect you would, after marriage, per¬ 
form those kind offices of which you were so 
lavish in the days of betrothment. She became 
your wife, — left her own home for yours,— 
burst asunder, as it were, the bands of love 
which had bound her to her father’s fireside, 
and sought no other boon than your affections, 
— left, it may be, the ease and delicacy of a 
home of indulgence; and now, what must be 
her feelings, if she gradually awakes to the con¬ 
sciousness that you love her less than before,— 
that your evenings are spent abroad, — that you 
only come home at all to satisfy the demands of 
your hunger, and to find a resting-place for your 
head when weary, or a nurse for your sick-cham¬ 
ber when diseased ? 

Why did she leave the bright hearth of her 
youthful days ? Why did you ask her to give 
up the enjoyments of her happy home ? Was 
it simply to conduce to your own comfort ? Or 
was there some understanding that she was to 
be made happy in her connection with the man 
she dared to love ? 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 51 


Nor is it a sufficient answer, that you give 
her a home, — that you feed and clothe her. 
You do this for your help ; you would do it for 
any indifferent housekeeper. She is your wife, 
and unless you attend to her wants, and in some 
way answer the reasonable expectations you 
raised by your attentions before marriage, you 
heed not wonder if she be dejected, and her 
heart sink into insensibility; but if this be so, 
think well who is the cause of it. We repeat 
it, very few women make indifferent wives, 
whose feelings have not met with some out¬ 
ward shock by the indifference or thoughtless¬ 
ness of their husbands. It is our candid opin¬ 
ion, that, in a large majority of the instances of 
domestic misery, the man is the aggressor. 

Philadelphia Chronicle. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


52 


THE POWER OF VIRTUOUS LOVE. 

—♦— 

To one upon the threshold of the world, 

Whose opening way to life is thronged with forms 
That lie in wait to threaten and seduce, 

There is a worth untold in virtuous love. 

’T is as a talisman of power; unhurt 
It bears him on, through snares of crafty vice 
And long array of pleasure’s subtle host, 

Baffling with potent charm their wily arts, 

That lose their power to touch him. Thoughts impure, 
Low aims, and selfish passions shrink away. 

It keeps him chaste, — makes all his purposes 
Companions of a virtuous hope,—beats down 
The harmful empire of the present hour, 

Pointing his thought to some sweet future home, 
Henceforth his central purpose, which imparts 
Fresh vigor to his enterprise, to hand 
And mind gives nerve, to pleasure turns all toil, 

Makes honor doubly dear, all that is bad 
In young ambition purifies, and lifts 
High above selfishness the darling plan 
Which forms his ruling passion. For he toils 
No more alone, nor only for himself. 

The honor, peace, yea, life,— and, more than all, 

The good opinion of a purer mind, — 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 53 


A second, better conscience, whose reproof 
Stings deeper, whose approval gives more joy 
Than his own breast, — are all at stake in him; 

And for her sake, in whom are hoarded up 
The dearest treasures of his life on earth, 

He keeps an uncontaminated heart, 

And scorns the base seductiveness of sin. 

O holy power of pure, devoted love ! 

And O thou holy, sacred name of home ! 

Prime bliss of earth! Behind us and before, 

Our guiding star, our refuge ! When we plunge, 
Loose from the safeguard of a father’s roof, 

On life’s uncertain flood exposed and driven, 

’T is the mild memory of thy sacred days 
That keeps the young man pure. A father’s eye, 

A mother’s smile, a sister’s gentle love, 

The table, and the altar, and the hearth, 

In reverend image, keep their early hold 
Upon his heart, and crowd out guilt and shame. 

Then, too, the hope, that in some after day 
These consecrated ties shall be renewed 
In him, the founder of another house, 

And-wife and children — earth’s so precious names — 
Be gathered round the hearth, where he himself 
Shall be the father, — O, this glowing hope, 

With memory coworking, lightens toil, 

And renders impotent the plots of earth 
To warp him from his innocence and faith ! 

Henry Ware, Jr. 

5 * 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


54 


THE CONJUGAL RELATION. 


Have you taken upon yourselves the conju¬ 
gal relation? Your high and solemn duty is 
to make each other as happy as it is in your 
power. The husband should have, as his great 
object and rule of conduct, the happiness of the 
wife. Of that happiness, the confidence in his 
affection is the chief element; and the proofs 
of this affection on his part, therefore, constitute 
his chief duty, — an affection that is not lavish 
of caresses only, as if these were the only dem¬ 
onstrations of love, but of that respect which 
distinguishes love, as a principle, from that brief 
passion which assumes, and only assumes, the 
name, — a respect which consults the judgment, 
as well as the wishes, of the object beloved, — 
which considers her who is worthy of being 
taken to the heart as worthy of being admitted 
to all the counsels of the heart. If there are 
any delights of which he feels the value as es¬ 
sential to his own happiness, — if his soul be 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 55 


sensible to the charms of literary excellence,— 
and if he considers the improvement* of his own 
understanding, and the cultivation of his own 
taste, as a duty, and one of the most delightful 
duties of an intellectual being, — he will not 
consider it as a duty or a delight that belongs 
only to man, but will feel it more delightful, as 
v there is now another soul that may share with 
him all the pleasure of the progress. To love 
the happiness of her whose happiness is in his 
affection is of course to be conjugally faithful; 
but it is more than to be merely faithful; it is 
not to allow room even for a doubt as to that 
fidelity, at least for such a doubt as a reasona¬ 
ble mind might form. It is truly to love her 
best, but it is also to show that love which is 
truly felt. 

As the happiness of the wife is the rule of 
conjugal duty to the husband, the happiness of 
the husband is in like manner the rule of con¬ 
jugal duty to the wife. There is no human be¬ 
ing whose affection is to be to her like his af¬ 
fection, as there is no happiness which is to be 
to her like the happiness which he enjoys. All 
that I have said of the moral obligation of the 
husband, then, is not less applicable to her duty; 
but, though the gentle duties belong to both, it 




56 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

is to her province that they more especially be¬ 
long, because she is at once best fitted by nature 
for the ministry of tender courtesies, and best 
exercised in the offices that inspire them. While 
man is occupied in other cares during the busi¬ 
ness of the day, the business of her day is but 
the continued discharge of many duties, that 
have a direct relation to wedlock, in the com¬ 
mon household which it has formed. He must 
often forget her, or be useless to the world; she 
is most useful to the world by remembering him. 
From the tumultuous scenes which agitate many 
of his hours, he returns to the calm scene, where 
peace awaits him, and happiness is sure to await 
him; because she is there waiting, whose smile 
is peace, and whose very presence is more than 
happiness to his heart. 

If there is a place on earth to which vice has 
no entrance, — where the gloomy passions have 
no empire, — where pleasure and innocence live 
constantly together,—where cares and labors 
are delightful, — where every pain is forgotten 
in reciprocal tenderness, — where there is an 
equal enjoyment of the past, the present, and 
the future, — it is the house of a wedded pair, 
but of a pair who, in wedlock, are lovers still. 

C. Brooks. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


57 


SHADOWS. 


The bridal veil hangs o’er her brow, 

The ring of gold is on her finger, 

Her lips have breathed the marriage vow,— 
Why should she at the altar linger? 

Why wears her gentle brow a shade ? 

Why dim her eye, when doubt is over? 

Why does her slender form for aid 
Lean tremblingly upon her lover ? 

Is it a feeling of regret 

For solemn vows so lately spoken ? 

Is it a fear, scarce owned as yet, 

That her new ties may soon be broken ? 

O, no ! such causes darken not 

The cloud that’s swiftly passing o’er her; 

Hers is a fair and happy lot, 

And bright the path that lies before her. 

Her heart has long been freely given 
To him who, now her hand possessing, 

Through patient years has fondly striven 
To merit well the precious blessing. 









58 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


It is the thought of untried years, 

That, to her spirit strongly clinging, 

Is dimming her blue eyes with tears, 

And o’er her face a shade is flinging. 

It is the thought of duties now, 

Of wishes that may prove deceiving, 

Of all she hopes, yet fears, to do, 

Of all she loves, and all she’s leaving. 

It is the thought of by-gone days, — 

Of them, the fond, the gentle-hearted, 

Who meet not now her tearful gaze,— 

The dear, the absent, the departed. 

O, who can marvel that the bride 
Should leave the sacred altar weeping ? 

Or who would seek those tears to chide, 

That fresh and green her heart are keeping? 

Not he who, with a lover’s care 

And husband’s pride, is fondly guiding 

Her trembling steps; for he can share 
The gentle thoughts that need no hiding. 

Soon, love for him those tears will chase, 

And smiles relight her eye with gladness; 

And none will blame, who truly trace 
To its pure source her transient sadness. 

Bridal Wreath. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 59 


HOME JOYS. 


Sweet are the joys of home, 

And pure as sweet; for they 

Like dews of morn and evening come, 

To wake and close the day. 

The world hath its delights, 

And its delusions too ; • 

But home to calmer bliss invites, 

More tranquil and more true. 

The mountain flood is strong, 

But fearful in its pride ; 

While gently rolls the stream along 
The peaceful valley’s side. 

Life’s charities, like light, 

Spread smilingly afar; 

But stars, approached, become more bright, 
And home is life’s own star. 

The pilgrim’s step in vain 
Seeks Eden’s sacred ground; 

But in home’s holy joys again 
An Eden may be found. 






60 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


A glance of heaven to see 
To none on earth is given; 

And yet a happy family 
Is but an earlier heaven. 

Bowring. 


THE POETRY OF LIFE. 


The present life is not wholly prosaic, pre¬ 
cise, tame, and finite. To the gifted eye, it 
abounds in the poetic. The affections, which 
spread beyond ourselves, and stretch far into 
futurity,— the workings of mighty passions, 
which seem to arm the soul with an almost 
superhuman energy, — the innocent and irre¬ 
pressible joy of infancy, — the bloom, and buoy¬ 
ancy, and dazzling hopes of youth,—the throb- 
bings of the heart, when it first wakes to love, 
and dreams of a happiness too vast for earth,— 
woman, with her beauty, and grace, and gen¬ 
tleness, and fulness of feeling, and depth of af¬ 
fection, and blushes of purity, and the tones and 
looks which only a mother’s heart can inspire, 
— these are all poetical. Channing; 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 61 


EXCERPTS. 


Since God has created woman such as to 
require of necessity to be near man, let us ask 
no more ; God is on our side. So, let us honor 
marriage, as an honorable and divine institution. 
This mode of life is the first which it pleased 
God to ordain, — is that which he has constant¬ 
ly maintained, — is the last which he will glorify 
over every other. Where were kingdoms and 
empires when Adam and the patriarchs lived in 
marriage ? Out of what other kind of life do 
all states proceed ? 

No one will ever have to repent rising early 
and marrying young. 

My hostess of Eisenach said well, when I 
was a student there, — “There is no sweeter 
pleasure upon earth than to be loved by a 
woman.” 

Ah, how my heart sighed after mine own, 
when I lay sick to death at Smalkalde! I 
thought that I should never more see my wife 
6 





62 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


or little ones; and how agonizing was the 
thought! Great is the force of the social tie 
which knits man and wife together. 

Woman is the most precious of all gifts; she 
is full of charms and virtues; she is the guar¬ 
dian of the faith. 

Our first love is violent; it intoxicates us, and 
deprives us of reason. The madness passed 
away, the good retain a sober love, the ungodly 
none. 

My gracious Lord, if it be thy holy will that 
I live without a wife, sustain me against tempta¬ 
tions ; if otherwise, grant me a good and pious 
maiden, with whom I may pass my life sweet¬ 
ly and calmly, whom I may love, and of whom 
I may be loved in return! 

Luther. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 63 


BRIDAL WISHES. 


Sweet be her dreams, the fair, the young ! 

Grace, beauty, breathe upon her ! 

Music, haunt thou about her tongue ! 

Life, fill her path with honor ! 

All golden thoughts, all wealth of days, 

Truth, Friendship, Love, surround her ! 

So may she smile till life be closed, 

And angel bands have crowned her! 

Barry Cornwall. 


LOVE IN MARRIAGE. 

■ ♦ 

Love in marriage cannot live nor subsist, un¬ 
less it be mutual; and where love cannot be, 
there can be left of wedlock nothing but the 
empty husk of an outside matrimony, as unde¬ 
lightful and unpleasing to God as any other 
kind of hypocrisy. Milton. 















THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


64 


THE MARRIAGE OF CANA. 

“There waa a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of 

Jesus was there. And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to 

the marriage.”—J ohn ii. 1, 2. 

I. 

They stand amid their earnest friends, joyful, yet awed 
and still, 

As priestly hands the rite of old by God ordained fulfil; 

The few and simple words they breathe, though scarce 
they meet the ear, 

Pledge heart to heart, and life to life, through many a 
coming year. 

II. 

As meet their hands, with tender grasp, each heart re¬ 
nounces there 

Whatever thought of earthly bliss the other may not 
share. 

Henceforth together do they pass, in joy and sorrow 
one, 

Nor that mysterious union ends, till life itself be done. 

hi. 

And now, with blushes and with smiles, the young 
bride meets her friends; 

With voice of trembling earnestness, a father o’er her 
bends, 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 65 


A sister’s tear is on her cheek, a mother’s heart o’er- 
flovvs, 

As hope and fear their visions to her anxious eyes dis¬ 
close. 

IV. 

That trusting one, whose deepest love is yielded to his 
claim, 

Who now, by smiling friends addressed, first hears her 
matron name,— 

To her he vows himself anew, before that secret shrine, 

Where conscience to the heart reveals the majesty di¬ 
vine. 

v. 

Blest Saviour ! though no bridal wreath entwined thy 
awful brow, 

Not void of sympathy for aught of blameless joy wast 
thou; 

And, walking in thy Gospel’s light, thy true disciples 
prove 

The purity of wedded bliss, the holiness of love. 

S. G. Bulfinch. 


6* 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


i 

OUR SOULS ARE UNITED. 

—»— 

Where’er thou goest, I will go; 

Where’er thou diest, die ; 

Together in one humble grave 
Our senseles dust shall lie. 

And I will love thy chosen friends, — 

Thy people shall be mine ; 

And we will kneel to praise one God 
Before one common shrine. 

Our souls, — ah ! what shall part our souls ? 

In ties of love entwined, 

They will defy the spells and chains 
That even death can bind. 


Anonymous. 













THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 67 


THE CHRISTIAN IDEA OF MARRIAGE. 


The duties of those who assume the mar¬ 
riage relation are various and important, not 
simply in reference to their own characters, 
but also to the welfare of their families and 
the community at large. They are duties, 
too, like all others, that need sometimes to be 
brought anew to our memories and consciences, 
lest they may be neglected. They are duties 
which human beings voluntarily take upon 
themselves, and which, therefore, to be con¬ 
sistent, ought to be the last in which they 
prove unfaithful. 

The conception of these duties is due to 
Christianity. The spirit which should actuate 
their performance is set forth in Apostolic words. 
Said Paul, — “Let every one of you in par¬ 
ticular so love his wife even as himself; and 
the wife see that she reverence her husband.” 
While Peter said, — “Likewise, ye husbands, 
dwell with them according to knowledge, giv- 








68 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

ing honor unto the wife.” The impressive 
truth evidently intended to be conveyed by 
these and similar passages in the New Testa¬ 
ment is, that the marriage connection should 
be dignified and secured by moral sentiments, 
love, respect, honor, and mutual conciliation. 
There can be no true love without reverence, 
and proper respect cannot long exist without af¬ 
fection. They are two poles of the same globe. 
In lands unenlightened by Christianity, the tie 
is bound by force, or welded by the flame of 
mere natural passion, exclusive of an intelligent 
principle or a self-forgetting attachment. But 
the Gospel comes to the newly married couple, 
and says to them, This is a holy relation; it is 
an ordinance of God and a rite of Christianity ; 
it rests not alone on the basis of fancy or ca¬ 
price or animal desire, but strikes its roots down 
deeply into the recesses of the spiritual nature, 
and appeals to what is holiest and most rever¬ 
ential in man. No point of contrast is more 
striking between the Gospel and other systems 
of religion than the one now indicated. Our 
Lord told the Jews, that, on account of the hard¬ 
ness of their hearts, Moses allowed them great 
latitude in reference to divorces. Mahometan¬ 
ism permits polygamy, and paganism does the 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 69 


same, or even worse. Bat under the pure reign 
of Christ, a higher value is attached to every 
human being, and a dignity is thrown around 
every person, of either sex ; and all ties of 
relation, whether of kindred or affection, are 
viewed, not merely in an earthly, but in a 
heavenly light. 

From this general ground, on which Chris¬ 
tian marriage is established, the writings of the 
Apostles descend to some particulars of great 
value. The husband is not to be bitter against 
his wife, but love her, — a caution not useless, 
where human feelings are so prone to be vio¬ 
lent or fickle; where the rude contacts of the 
world are so liable to beget a coarseness of 
speech and behaviour, ill comporting with the 
delicacy of home ; where ignorance of trials 
and duties unlike his own may lead to hasti¬ 
ness of temper and sharpness of words, which 
none would afterwards, in cooler moments, more 
poignantly regret than himself. He is not to 
play the domestic tyrant, because he is gifted 
by God with greater physical strength, nor pur¬ 
sue a harsh and unfeeling course towards one 
through whose heart a cutting word or angry 
look may pierce as the dividing of a sword. 
Wisely, therefore, were tender love and sym- 




70 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

pathy urged upon him who is so liable, by a 
less delicate organization and the rough collis¬ 
ions of society, to acquire a somewhat rude 
demeanour, and an impenetrable coat of mail 
over the heart. 

On the other side, with equal wisdom, the 
Apostle reminds the wife to reverence her hus¬ 
band. The affections, warm and kindly, are 
not to degenerate into mere fondness, but are 
to possess the substantial stamina of respect, 
to give them due consistency and durability. 
There was less danger that there would be 
lack of sentiment; there was more, that the 
respect with which every human being, how¬ 
ever endeared, should be invested, and in which 
he should be ennobled to our minds, might melt 
away into a doting sensibility. 

Gentleness for the strong, and strength for 
the gentle ; sentiment in the man, and princi¬ 
ple in the woman ; mutual checks and balances; 
and over both the equal Christian duties, hopes, 
and promises; — this is the light in which the 
Saviour and his Apostles presented the wedded 
pair, and pronounced on them with miracle and 
exhortation their heavenly blessing. 

A. A. Livermore. 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 71 


LOVE IS NOT A GARDEN FLOWER. 


Ah ! Love is not a garden flower, 

That shoots from out the cultured earth, — 

That needs the sunbeam and the shower 
Before it wakens into birth ; 

It owns a richer soil and seed, 

And woman’s heart supplies them both, 

Where it will spring without a weed, 
Consummate in its growth. 

These leaves will perish when away 
From either genial sun or shower; 

Not so will wither and decay 

Celestial Love’s perennial flower. 

’T is our companion countless miles, 

Through weal or woe, in after years ; 

And though it flourishes in smiles, 

It blooms as fresh in tears. 

George P. Morris. 





72 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


SCRAPS. 


Show me one couple unhappy merely on ac¬ 
count of their limited circumstances, and I will 
show you ten who are wretched from other 
causes. 

You may depend upon it, that a slight con¬ 
trast of character is very material to happiness 
in marriage. 

Sympathy constitutes friendship ; but in love 
there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing pas¬ 
sion. Each strives to be the other, and both 
together make up one whole. 

Luther has sketched the most beautiful pic¬ 
ture of the nature, and ends, and duties of the 
wedded life I ever read. St. Paul says it is a 
great symbol, not mystery, as we translate it. 

Coleridge. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 73 


A HOME IN THE HEART. 

— » — 

O, ask not a home in the mansions of pride, 

Where marble shines out in the pillars and walls ! 

Though the roof be of gold, it is brilliantly cold, 

And joy may not be found in its torch-lighted halls. 

But seek for a bosom all honest and true, 

Where love, once awakened, will never depart; 

Turn, turn to that breast, like the dove to its nest, 

And you ’ll find there’s no home like a home in the 
heart. 

O, link but one spirit that’s warmly sincere, 

That will heighten your pleasure, and solace your 
care, — 

Find a soul you may trust, as the kind and the just, 
And be sure the wide world holds no treasure so rare ! 

Then the frowns of misfortune may shadow our lot, 
The cheek-searing tear-drops of sorrow may start, 

But a star never dim sheds a halo for him 

Who can turn for repose to a home in the heart. 

Eliza Cook. 


7 





74 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE GOOD WIFE. 


The parental home is intended to be the 
school of woman’s education, not her perma¬ 
nent abode. As the instinct which teaches the 
birds of passage the time of their migration 
suddenly impels them to mount to untried re¬ 
gions of the atmosphere, and seek, through 
cloud and tempest, a land they have never 
seen, so a like inspiration teaches woman that 
there is another home for her, destined by the 
Great Designer, of still greater happiness than 
that which she has already known, and under 
the same apparent destiny. One appears to 
lead her to that happy place. Marriage comes 
as the great crisis of woman’s existence. And 
where, if you search earth through, will you 
find an object which the eye bends on with such 
intense, I had almost said painful, interest as a 
bride ? What an era, when considered with 
reference either to the past or the future! It 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 75 

is in a manner the crush of one world, and the 
beginning of a new one. She is to go from a 
home that she has known and loved, where she 
has been loved and cherished, to one to which 
she is an utter stranger. Her happiness is to 
be subjected to those on whose characters, tem¬ 
pers, principles, she can make no calculation. 
And what is to assure her of the faith of him 
who has sworn at the altar to cherish and pro¬ 
tect her ? She may, in the blindness of affec¬ 
tion, have given her heart to one who will wring 
and break it; and she may be going to martyr¬ 
dom, where pride and prudence will alike deny 
her the poor solace of complaint. Yet she is 
willing to venture all. The law instituted by 
the Creator is upon her, and urges her forward. 
With calm confidence she puts herself under 
the protection of that almighty principle, which, 
issuing from the throne of God, penetrates and 
pervades all things, and then returns to link it¬ 
self to the throne of his omnipotence, — the 
principle of Love, — and she is safe. Perhaps, 
if she knew what life has in store for her, she 
would for a moment shrink back. The mar¬ 
riage festivity would not be without its fears. 
And for myself, so many whom I have united 
for life have I seen soon overtaken by calamity, 

















76 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


f 


— hoping parents bending in speechless agony- 
over the loved and the lost, or watching with 
breathless apprehension the fearful changes of 
extreme disease, — that to me there is ever an 
undertone of sadness in the wedding’s mirth; 
and when that bright being approaches, upon 
whom every eye centres, and for whom every 
heart palpitates, I can almost fancy her bridal 
attire transformed to mourning, and her blushes 
changed to tears. But a second thought con¬ 
vinces me that such anticipations are treason to 
God and man. Marriage is the ordinance of 
God, and let not man gainsay it. It is indeed 
the commencement of struggles and toils. But 
for what else is man made, or woman either ? 
Those toils and struggles shall be lighter, when 
mutual affection animates the effort. Troubles 
will come, but they come to all; and who shall 
better sustain them than those to whom mutual 
affection gives mutual support ? 

We now see woman in that sphere for which 
she was originally intended, and which she is 
so exactly fitted to adorn and bless, as the wife, 
the mistress of a home, the solace, the aid, 
and the counsellor of that one, for whose sake 
alone the world is of any consequence to her. 
If life be increased in cares, so is it also en- 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 77 

riched by new satisfactions. She herself, if she 
be inspired by just sentiments and true affec¬ 
tion, perceives that she has attained her true 
position. Delivered from that tastelessness, 
which sooner or later creeps over a single life, 
every power and faculty is called into energetic 
exercise, and she feels the current of existence 
to flow in a richer, deeper stream. We are 
all made for action and enterprise. Existence, 
though surfeited with luxury and abundance, is 
insipid without it. The affections, which God 
has ordained to spring in the bosoms of those 
whom he has destined to pass through life to¬ 
gether, are no deceivers. They are not intend¬ 
ed to betray the sexes into a state of misery. 
The wife does not bid adieu to happiness, though 
she leaves a magnificent mansion to take up her 
abode under a humbler roof. Youth, health, 
employment, affection, hope, are more than a 
compensation for all. The privations of com¬ 
mencing life in narrow circumstances are borne 
with cheerfulness and alacrity. If there be on 
both sides good sense and generous feeling, as 
well as true affection, nothing will seem hard, 
and they will experience a happiness unkfiown 
to those who shut up or disappoint their affec¬ 
tions from false pride, or from dread of losing 

7 * 









78 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

caste by beginning life precisely as their fathers 
and mothers did before them. 

The good wife ! How much of this world’s 
happiness and prosperity is contained in the 
compass of these two short words! Her influ¬ 
ence is immense. The power of a wife, for 
good or for evil, is altogether irresistible. Home 
must be the seat of happiness, or it must be for 
ever unknown. A good wife is to a man wisdom 
and courage and strength and hope and endur¬ 
ance. A bad one is confusion, weakness, dis¬ 
comfiture, despair. No condition is hopeless 
when the wife possesses firmness, decision, en¬ 
ergy, economy. There is no outward prosper¬ 
ity which can counteract indolence, folly, and 
extravagance at home. No spirit can long re¬ 
sist bad domestic influences. Man is strong, 
but his heart is not adamant. He delights in 
enterprise and action, but to sustain him he 
needs a tranquil mind and a whole heart. He 
expends his whole moral force in the conflicts 
of the world. His feelings are daily lacerated 
to the utmost point of endurance by perpetual 
collision, irritation, and disappointment. To re¬ 
cover his equanimity and composure, home must 
be to him a place of repose, of peace, of cheer¬ 
fulness, of comfort; and his soul renews its 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 79 


strength, and again goes forth with fresh vigor 
to encounter the labors and troubles of the 
world. But if at home he find no rest, and 
there is met by a bad temper, sullenness, or 
gloom, or is assailed by discontent, complaint, 
and reproaches, the heart breaks, the spirits are 
crushed, hope vanishes, and the man sinks into 
total despair. 

Let woman know, then, that she ministers at 
the very fountain of life and happiness. It is 
her hand that lades out with overflowing cup 
its soul-refreshing waters, or casts in the branch 
of bitterness which makes them poison and 
death. Her ardent spirit breathes the breath 
of life into all enterprise. Her patience and 
constancy are mainly instrumental in carrying 
forward to completion the best human designs. 
Her more delicate moral sensibility is the un¬ 
seen power which is ever at work to purify and 
refine society. And the nearest glimpse of 
heaven that mortals ever get on earth is that 
domestic circle which her hands have trained 
to intelligence, virtue, and love, which her gen¬ 
tle influence pervades, and of which her radiant 
presence is the centre and the sun. 

George W. Burnap. 




80 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


FROM MY FATE THERE ’S NO RETREATING. 
—«— 

From my fate there’s no retreating; 

Love commands, and I obey; 

How with joy my heart is beating 
At the fortunes of to-day ! 

Life is filled with strange romances, 

Love is blind, th.e poets say ; 

When he comes unsought, the chance is 
Of his own accord he ’ll stay. 

Love can ne’er be forced to tarry ; 

Chain him, — he ’ll the bonds remove ; 
Paired, not matched, too many marry,— 

All should wed alone for love. 

Let him, on the bridal even, 

Trim his lamp with constant ray; 

And the flame will light to heaven 
When the world shall fade away. 

George P. Morris. 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 81 


MAKE HOME HAPPY. 


It is a duty devolving upon every member 
of a family to endeavour to make all belonging 
to it happy. This may, with a very little pleas¬ 
ant exertion, be done. Let every one contribute 
something towards improving the grounds be¬ 
longing to their house. If the house is old and 
uncomfortable, let each exert himself to render 
it better and more pleasant. If it is good and 
pleasant, let each strive still farther to adorn it. 
Let flowering shrubs and trees be planted, and 
vines and woodbines be trailed around the win¬ 
dows and doors; add interesting volumes to the 
family library; take a good paper; purchase 
little articles of furniture to replace those which 
are fast wearing out; wait upon and anticipate 
the wants of each; and ever have a pleasant 
smile for all and each. 

Make home happy. Parents ought to teach 
this lesson in the nursery and by the fireside, 
and give it the weight of their precept and ex- 





82 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

ample. If they should, ours would be a happier 
and a more virtuous country. Drunkenness, 
profanity, and other disgusting vices would die 
away; they could not live in the influence of a 
lovely and refined home. 

Does any one think, — “I am poor,and have 
to work hard to get enough to sustain life, and 
cannot find time to spend in making our old 
house more attractive ” ? Think again. Is there 
not some time every day which you spend in 
idleness, or smoking, or mere listlessness, which 
might be spent about your homes ? u Flowers 
are God’s smiles,” said Wilberforce; and they 
are as beautiful beside the cottage as the pal¬ 
ace, and may be enjoyed by the inhabitants of 
the one as well as the other. There are few 
homes which might not be made more beautiful 
and attractive. Let all study to make their res¬ 
idence so pleasant, that the hearts of the absent 
ones shall go back to it as the dove did to the 
ark of Noah. 

“ The pilgrim’s step in vain 

Seeks Eden’s sacred ground; 

But in home’s holy joys again 
An Eden may be found.” 

The Family Circle. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING, 


83 


A LITTLE WORD. 


A little word in kindness spoken, 

A motion, or a tear, 

Has often healed the heart that’s broken, 
And made a friend sincere. 

A word — a look— has crushed to earth 
Full many a budding flower, 

Which, had a smile but owned its birth, 
Would bless life’s darkest hour. 

Then deem it not an idle thing 
A pleasant word to speak; 

The face you wear, the thought you bring, 
A heart may heal or break. 


Anonymous. 









84 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


PEACE AND KINDNESS. 


“ Live peaceably,” says the Apostle, “ with 
all men.” Peace at home is one of the choicest 
blessings of life, and one of the best methods 
of insuring peace outwardly to the whole cir¬ 
cumference of society and the world. The 
brawls of the fireside are some of the worst 
wars that are waged. They stab the breast in 
the tenderest spot. Where we looked for quiet, 
behold tumult; where we expected rest, lo vex¬ 
ation of spirit. To learn to bear and forbear, 
— to give generously and yield gracefully,— 
to prefer to lose the argument rather than the 
temper, — to be willing to suffer a great wrong 
rather than do the least wrong, — to give 
way to the unfortunate temper of others rather 
than to gain a point at the cost of a war of 
words, — a few such plain habits would prevent 
a world of trouble, and spread joy and happi¬ 
ness through scenes where every blessing may 
be poisoned by the corrosion of embittered feel- 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 85 

ings. How beautiful on this earth is a family 
dwelling in peace and affection! It seems too 
fair an Eden to last. But such abodes have 
been; such are now in existence. May the 
world be filled with affectionate homes! 

Kindness, indeed, cannot stand alone, nor sup¬ 
port the whole fabric of the character with its 
single column ; as what virtue can ? Do not 
the whole sisterhood rise or fall together? It 
is perhaps a little thing, — the kind word, — the 
kind look, — the thoughtful remembrance, — the 
slight favor,—the cordial token of recognition, 

— the passing salutation of good-will, — the for¬ 
bearance to say what a moment’s impatience 
may suggest, — the deference to others’ words, 

— and the readiness to hearken and candor to 
judge; these and the thousand other modes of 
expressing and cherishing kindness of heart and 
of manners, — they are all little, and some may 
think insignificant, things; but they cannot be 
spared, for they are slight but essential links of 
pure happiness. They make or mar our peace 
more than poverty or riches, cot or castle, plain 
furniture or sideboards of gold and silver ves¬ 
sels. They may be humble virtues and none 
would claim for them much; and they are lia¬ 
ble, like all current coin, to be confounded with 

8 







86 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


the counterfeit; yet how inexpressibly delight¬ 
ful it is to meet with them in the thorny paths 
of life; and though we may not call the dear 
friends of our fireside wise or graceful, beau¬ 
tiful or eloquent, still what an indescribable and 
heavenly charm lingers around those “ in whose 
tongue is the law of kindness ” ! 

A. A. Livermore. 


JUDGE CONRAD TO HIS WIFE. 

—«— 

When that chaste blush suffused thy cheek and brow, 
Whitened anon with a pale maiden fear, 

Thou shrank'st in uttering what I burned to hear, 
And yet I loved thee, love, not then as now. 

Years and their snows have come and gone, and graves 
Of thine and mine have opened, and the sod 
Is thick above the wealth we gave to God; 

Over my brightest hopes the nightshade waves, 

And wrongs and wrestlings with a wretched world, 
Gray hairs, and saddened hours, and thoughts of gloom, 
Troop upon troop, dark-browed, have been my doom, 
And to the earth each hope-reared turret hurled, 

And yet that blush, suffusing cheek and brow,— 

’T was dear, how dear ! then, — but’t is dearer now. 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


87 


UNION AND PEACE. 


Blest are the sons of peace, 

Whose hearts and hopes are one, 

Whose kind designs to serve and please 
Through all their actions run. 

Blest is the pious house, 

Where zeal and friendship meet; 

Their songs of praise, their mingled vows, 
Make their communion sweet. 

From these celestial springs 
Such streams of pleasure flow, 

As no increase of riches brings, 

Nor honors can bestow. 

Thus, when on Aaron’s head 
They poured the rich perfume, 

The oil through all his raiment spread, 

And fragrance filled the room. 

Thus, on the heavenly hills, 

The saints are blest above, 

Where joy, like morning dew, distils, 

And all the air is love. 

Watts. 





88 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


CONGRATULATORY LETTER. 


My dear Friends,— 

I most heartily congratulate you on being 
married. But in your joy at the consummation 
of your wishes, do not forget that your happi¬ 
ness both here and hereafter depends — O how 
much ! — upon each other’s influence. An un¬ 
kind word or look, or an unintentional neglect, 
sometimes leads to thoughts which ripen into 
the ruin of body and soul. A spirit of forbear¬ 
ance, patience, and kindness, and a determina¬ 
tion to keep the chain of love bright, are like¬ 
ly to develop corresponding qualities, and to 
make the rough places of life smooth and 
pleasant. Have you ever reflected seriously 
that it is in the power of either of you to make 
the other utterly miserable ? And when the 
storms and trials of life come, for come they 
will, how much either of you can do to calm, 
to elevate, to purify, the troubled spirit of the 
other, and substitute sunshine for the storm ? 





THE BIARRIAGE OFFERING. 89 

How much of the happiness or unhappiness 
of home depends on the disposition ! Home , 
— how many associations with it! How the 
lonely and bereaved heart yearns for it ! 
How it rises in remembrance when the sands 
of life are nearly run, and the sun is just set¬ 
ting ! 

I cannot look upon marriage in the light in 
which many seem to regard it, — merely as a 
convenient arrangement in society. To per¬ 
sons of benevolence, intelligence, and refine¬ 
ment, it must be something more, — the source 
of the greatest possible happiness or of the 
most abject misery, — no half-way felicity. In 
your case the prospect appears as bright as 
can be expected under any circumstances. 
You have not had the folly to discard common 
sense. You have endeavoured to study chari¬ 
tably and carefully the peculiarities of each 
other’s habits, dispositions, and principles, and 
to anticipate somewhat the inconveniences to 
which they may lead. And as you are deter¬ 
mined to outdo each other in making personal 
sacrifices, and to live by the spirit of the Sav¬ 
iour, you have laid a foundation for happiness, 
which it is not likely will be shaken by the joys 
or sorrows, the prosperity or adversity, the rich- 
8 * 




90 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. „ 

es or poverty, or by the frowns or flattery, of 
the world. 

I need not tell you how many or how warm 
hearts are interested in your welfare, nor how 
many wishes and prayers are uttered for your 
happiness. Now do not be so selfish in your 
enjoyment as never to let any one share it with 
you, but write often, that all of us may be par¬ 
takers also. Farewell. God bless you! May 
the rainbow of promise never set on your pros¬ 
pects till you form a purer union with angels! 

John L. Sibley. 


LINES. 


Let sacred home the temple be 
Of pleasure and repose ; 

The bickerings of anger flee, 

The fruitful source of woes; 

Soothe in distress, and win to love,— 

’T will bid all sorrow cease; 

Then shalt thou imitate the dove 
In pleasure and in peace. 

The Family Cirlce. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 91 


MUTUAL FORBEARANCE 

NECESSARY TO THE HAPPINESS OF THE MARRIED STATE. 

Alas ! and is domestic strife, 

That sorest ill of human life, 

A plague so little to be feared 
As to be wantonly incurred 
To gratify a fretful passion 
On every trivial provocation ? 

The kindest and the happiest pair 
Will find occasion to forbear ; 

And something, every day they live, 

To pity, and, perhaps, forgive. 

But if infirmities, that fall 
In common to the lot of all, 

A blemish, or a sense impaired, 

Are crimes so little to be spared, 

Then farewell all that must create 
The comfort of the wedded state; 

Instead of harmony, ’t is jar, 

And tumult, and intestine war. 

The love that cheers life’s latest stage, 
Proof against sickness and old age, 

Preserved by virtue from declension, 
Becomes not weary of attention ; 

But lives when that exterior grace 
Which first inspired the flame decays. 





92 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

’T is gentle, delicate, and kind, 

To faults compassionate or blind, 

And will with sympathy endure 
Those evils it would gladly cure : 

But angry, coarse, and harsh expression 
Shows love to be a mere profession , 
Proves that the heart is none of his, 

Or soon expels him if it is. 

Cowper. 


THE WORLD TO COME. 

- 4 - 

And Jesus, answering, said unto them, The 
children of this world marry, and are given in 
marriage; but they which shall be accounted 
worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrec¬ 
tion from the dead, neither marry, nor are given 
in marriage : neither can they die any more; for 
they are equal unto the angels; and are the 
children of God, being the children of the 
resurrection. 

The Gospel of Luke. 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 93 


THE ART OF PLEASING. 


The desire of being pleased is universal; 
tne desire of pleasing should be so too. It is 
included in that great and fundamental princi¬ 
ple of morality of doing to others what we wish 
they should do to us. 

The manner of conferring favors or benefits 
is, as to pleasing, almost as important as the 
matter itself. Take care, then, never to throw 
away the obligations, which perhaps you may 
have it in your power to confer upon others, by 
an air of insolent protection, or by a cold and 
comfortless manner, which stifles them in their 
birth. Humanity inclines, religion requires, and 
our moral duties oblige us, as far as we are 
able, to relieve the distresses and miseries of 
our fellow-creatures. But this is not all; for 
a true, heartfelt benevolence and tenderness 
will prompt us to contribute what we can to 
their ease, their amusement, and their pleasure, 
as far as innocently we' may. Let us, then, not 





94 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

only scatter benefits, but even strew flowers, 
for our fellow-travellers in the rugged paths of 
life. 

The person who manifests a constant desire 
to please places his stock of merit at great in¬ 
terest. 

Civility is the essential article towards pleas¬ 
ing, and is the result of good nature and of 
good sense. Good breeding is the decoration 
and lustre of civility, and adorns and dignifies 
the person who practises it. 

Chesterfield. 


THE SUMMONS. 

—*— 

Bride, thy plighted faith is given ; 

Now thy vow is heard in heaven. 

Who may hear the tones which swell 
Deep within thy fond heart’s cell ? 

Vain thy secret wishes all; 

Thou must haste thee at my call. 

Haste, haste away. 

Miss M. W. Hale. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 95 


LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER. 

—♦— 

Let us love one another ; not long may we stay 
In this bleak world of mourning; some droop while 
’t is day, 

Others fade in the noon, and few linger till eve ; 

O, there breaks not a heart but leaves some one to 
grieve ! 

The fondest, the purest, the truest that met 
Have still found the need to forgive and forget; 

Then, O, though the hopes that we nourished decay, 
Let us love one another as long as we stay ! 

Then let’s love one another, ’midst sorrows the worst, 
Unaltered and fond as we loved at the first; 

Though the false wing of pleasure may change and 
forsake, 

And the bright urn of wealth into particles break, 
There are some sweet affections that wealth cannot 
buy, 

That cling but still closer when sorrow draws nigh, 

And remain with us yet, though all else pass away; 
Then let’s love one another as long as we stay ! 

Charles Swain. 





96 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


INFLUENCE OF HOME. 


It is important that home should be cheerful. 
Kindness will do much to make it so. Yet 
there may be a kindness which is sad. There 
are those who have a melancholy tenderness, 
and those who have a hard, austere affection. 
Love may be in their hearts, but their counte¬ 
nances are set like a flint. We are rejoiced to 
meet kindness in almost any form; but here we 
are ready to exclaim, as did Macbeth at the 
sight of Banquo’s ghost, — “Take any form 
but that! ” Cheerfulness is a positive virtue. 
Who does not feel every drop of blood thrill in 
his veins, when he sees Paul writing, even in a 
dungeon, “ I have learned, in whatsoever state 
I am, therewith to be content ” ? Truly was 
Paul chief of apostles. He had indeed learned 
that “ godliness with contentment is great gain.” 
Yet are there not many who seem wilfully to 
look on the dark side, to search peevishly for 
flaws, and, when they have no real troubles, 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


97 


torment themselves with those which are imagi¬ 
nary ? Such “ dig out their own wretchedness 
as if they were digging for diamonds.” They 
would do well to remember, that “ the chief 
secret of comfort lies in not suffering trifles to 
vex one, and in prudently cultivating an under¬ 
growth of small pleasures, since very few great 
ones are let on long leases.” That was a good 
remark of Seneca, when he said, “ Great is he 
who enjoys his earthen-ware as if it were plate, 
and not less great is the man to whom all his 
plate is no more than earthen-ware.” Every 
home should be cheerful. Innocent joy should 
reign in every heart. There should be domestic 
amusements, fireside pleasures, quiet and sim¬ 
ple it may be, but such as shall make home 
happy, and not leave it that irksome place 
which will oblige the youthful spirit to look 
elsewhere for joy. There are a thousand un¬ 
obtrusive ways in which we may add to the 
cheerfulness of home. The very modulations 
of the voice will often make a wonderful dif¬ 
ference. How many shades of feeling are ex¬ 
pressed by the voice ! what a change comes 
over us at the change of its tones ! No delicate¬ 
ly tuned harp-string can awaken more pleasure; 
no grating discord can pierce with more pain. 







98 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

The softer accents should receive cultivation, 
not as a matter of mere artifice, but as a true 
medium of refined feeling. “ If your concern 
for pleasing others arise from innate benevo¬ 
lence,” says the Spectator, “ it never fails of 
success; if from mere vanity, its disappoint¬ 
ment is no less certain.” Have you not heard 
voices which lingered in your memory like 
music, — which soothed the mind in sorrow, 
and threw cheerfulness over every scene ? 
This is not simply a natural sweetness, but a 
refinement we can all possess by cultivating the 
better feelings of the heart, and by giving them 
true expression. Anger, spleen, discontent, 
envy, pride, arrogance, all have their expres¬ 
sive tones; and so will love, gentleness, gener¬ 
osity, joy, and the better feelings of the heart. 
They are serene as the notes of the lute floating 
over a summer’s lake ; or they may tear and 
torture the spirit by their unkind accents. The 
very birds give vent to their natural feelings in 
characteristic cries, from the cooing dove to the 
screaming vulture. Let, then, home be made 
cheerful by the gentle voice of affection. 

R. C. Waterston. 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


99 


COUNTRY AND HOME. 


There is a land, of every land the pride, 
Beloved by Heaven o’er all the world beside; 
Where brighter suns dispense serener light, 

And milder moons imparadise the night; 

A land of beauty, virtue, valor, truth, 
Time-tutored age, and love-exalted youth. 

The wandering mariner, whose eye explores 
The wealthiest isles, the most enchanting shores, 
Views not a realm so bountiful and fair, 

Nor breathes the spirit of a purer air ; 

In every clime, the magnet of his soul, 

Touched by remembrance, trembles to that pole; 
For in this land of Heaven’s peculiar grace, 

The heritage of nature’s noblest race, 

There is a spot of earth supremely blest, 

A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest, 

Where man, creation’s tyrant, casts aside 
His sword and sceptre, pageantry and pride, 
While in his softened looks benignly blend 
The sire, the son, the husband, brother, friend. 
Here woman reigns; the mother, daughter, wife, 
Strew with fresh flowers the narrow way of life. 
In the clear heaven of her delightful eye 
An angel guard of loves and graces lie ; 













100 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


Around her knees domestic duties meet, 

And fireside pleasures gambol at her feet. 

Where shall that land, that spot of earth, be found ? 
Art thou a man ? — a patriot P — look around ; 

O, thou shalt find, howe’er thy footsteps roam, 
That land thy country, and that spot thy home ! 

James Montgomery. 


THE CONTRAST. 

“Lovely and pleasant were they in their lives, and in their death 

not divided." — Holy Writ. 

A young and cherished bride, she went her future 
home to seek, 

While glowed the living lints of health upon her kind¬ 
ling cheek. 

The fount of love was in her heart, and in her eye its 
light; 

Nor dark disease around her path had cast its withering 
blight. 

The future to her vision seemed one fair and golden 
dream, 

And Hope, the priestess at Love’s shrine, had shed her 
radiant beam; 

Breathed from the lip of changeless truth, the precious 
vow was given, 

Which bound in one those mingling hearts, which 
death’s cold touch has riven. 

Miss M. W. Hale. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


101 


HOME FRIENDS. 


How pleasant and how good a thing it is to 
have a home, and friends at home, so that, 
when weary and heart-sick of the world, we 
can flee from its grasping, icy selfishness, and 
retreat from its calculating policy to the sweets 
and comforts and counsels of friendly and lov¬ 
ing hearts! How dear it is to have such friends, 
and know, that, come what will, we shall not 
fear desertion! Is it not true, that much of a 
man’s energy and success, as well as happiness, 
depends upon the character of his home ? Se¬ 
cure there , he goes forth bravely to encounter 
the trials of life. It encourages him, to think 
of his pleasant home. It is his point of rest. 
The thought of a dear wife shortens the dis¬ 
tance of a journey, and alleviates the harassings 
of business. It is a reserved power to fall back 
upon. Home and home friends ! How dear 
they are to us all ! Well might we love to 
linger on the picture of home friends ! When 

9 * 





102 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

all other friends prove false, home friends, re¬ 
moved from every bias but love, are the stead¬ 
fast and sure stays of our peace of soul, — are 
best and dearest when the hour is darkest and 
the danger of evil the greatest. But if one 
have none to care for him at home, — if there be 
neglect, or love of absence, or coldness, in our 
home and on our hearth, then, even if we 
prosper without, it is dark indeed within! It 
is not seldom that we can trace alienation and 
dissipation to this source. If no wife or sister 
care for him who returns from his toil, well 
may he despair of life’s best blessings. Home 
is nothing but a name without home friends. 
Jesus, without a home, had his home friends in 
Martha and Mary. 

M. W. Willis. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


103 


DUTIES AT HOME. 


O husbands! think upon your duty. You 
who have taken a wife from a happy home of 
kindred hearts and kind companionship, have 
you given to her all of your time which you 
could spare, have you endeavoured to make 
amends to her for the loss of these friends ? 
Have you joined with her in her endeavours to 
open the minds of your children, and give 
them good moral lessons ? Have you strength¬ 
ened her mind with advice, kindness, and good 
books ? Have you spent your evenings with 
her in the cultivation of intellectual, moral, or 
social excellence ? Have you looked upon her 
as an immortal being, as well as yourself? Has 
her improvement been as much your aim as 
your own ? Has your desire been to “ love 
her,” as St. Paul commands you, and to see 
her “ holy and without blemish ” ? Has your 
kind word soothed the irritation of her brow ? 
Has your arm supported her in the day of trial 









104 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

and trouble ? Hdve you truly been a help¬ 
mate to her whom you have sworn before God 
to love and cherish ? Husband! husband ! 
shut not your heart against these words. You 
are her senior, you have mixed more in the 
world, and you have gained knowledge of hu¬ 
man nature, and thus of human weakness. Let 
this knowledge add to your desire to serve, to 
assist, and to cherish her in all Christian vir¬ 
tues. Let your children have the example 
before them of parents bound by one tie, one 
hope, united here and for ever, whom no cross 
can sever, and whose pure minds cast a bright 
reflection upon all around. You, whose married 
life has been short, aid and counsel your young 
wives. Let their troubles be yours, and their 
joys also. Rejoice with them in their happy 
trifles, soothe them in their sadness. Spare 
them all the hours you can from business, for 
it is their due. And, wives! thank your hus¬ 
bands for it, and feel that your lot is a blessed 
one. 

There is a picture, bright and beautiful, but 
nevertheless true, where hearts are united for 
mutual happiness and mutual improvement; 
where a kind voice cheers the wife in her hour 
of trouble, and where the shade of anxiety is 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


105 


chased from the husband’s brow as he enters 
his home ; where sickness is soothed by watch¬ 
ful love, and hope and faith burn brightly. For 
such there is a great reward, both here and 
hereafter, in their own and their families’ spirit¬ 
ual happiness and growth, and in the blessed 
scenes of the world of spirits. 

And, wives! do you also consult the tastes and 
dispositions of your husbands, and endeavour to 
give to them high and noble thoughts, lofty 
aims, and temporal comfort. Be ready to wel¬ 
come them to their homes, gradually draw their 
thoughts while with you from business, and lead 
them to the regions of the beautiful in art and 
nature, and the true and the divine in sentiment. 
Foster a love of the elegant and refined, and 
gradually will you see business, literature, and 
high moral culture blending in “ sweet accord.” 

Monthly Miscellany. 









106 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


HOME. 

—«— 

Where burns the loved hearth brightest, 
Cheering the social breast? 

Where beats the fond heart lightest, 

Its humble hopes possessed ? 

Where is the smile of sadness, 

Of meek-eyed patience born, 

Worth more than those of gladness 
Which mirth’s bright cheek adorn i 
Pleasure is marked by fleetness 
To those who ever roam, 

While grief itself has sweetness 
At Home, dear Home ! 

There blend the ties that strengthen 
Our hearts in hours of grief, 

The silver links that lengthen 
Joy’s visits when most brief; 

There eyes in all their splendor 
Are vocal to the heart, 

And glances, gay and tender, 

Fresh eloquence impart; 

Then dost thou sigh for pleasure ? 

O, do not wildly roam, 

But seek that hidden treasure 
At Home, dear Home ! 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


107 


Does pure Religion charm thee 
Far more than aught below? 

Wouldst thou that she should arm thee 
Against the hour of woe ? 

Think not she dwelleth only 
In temples made for prayer; 

For home itself is lonely 
Unless her smiles be there. 

The devotee may falter, 

The bigot blindly roam, 

If worshipless her altar 
At Home, dear Home ! 

Love over it presideth, 

With meek and watchful awe 
Its daily service guideth, 

And shows its perfect law; 

If there thy faith shall fail thee, 

If there no shrine be found, 

What can thy prayers avail thee, 

With kneeling crowds around ? 

Go, leave thy gift unoffered 
Beneath Religion’s dome, 

And be her first fruits offered 
At Home, dear Home ! 

Bernard Barton. 





108 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


LOVE OF HOME. 

—♦— 

Some spot there is, some cherished spot, 

We love all other spots above ; 

And few so wretched that have not 
Some early-cherished spot to love. 

The mountain heights are dear to some, 

To some the valley’s deep recess ; 

To some the desert is a home, 

With thoughts to cheer and joys to bless. 

To some the tempest-troubled sea 
Is music; while the snows and ice 

That gird earth’s arctic scenery 
To some bring dreams of paradise. 

The fervor of the tropic beams, 

The darkness of deep woods, the fall 

Of dangerous cataract-shaken streams, 

All scatter joys around them, — all. 

Yes ! all some spot, some cherished spot, 
Love every other spot above ; 

And none so destitute as not 

To have some spot on earth to love. 

Bowring. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


109 


PIETY PROMOTED BY THE DOMESTIC 
RELATIONS. 


Marriage is an occasion on which none 
refuse to sympathize. Would that all were 
equally able and willing to understand! Would 
that all could know how, from the first flow of 
the affections till they are shed abroad in all 
their plenitude, the purposes of their creation 
become fulfilled. They were to life like a 
sleeping ocean to a bright but barren and silent 
shore. When the breeze from afar awakened 
it, new lights began to gleam, and echoes to be 
heard ; rich and unthought-of treasures were 
cast up from the depths; the barriers of indi¬ 
viduality were broken down; and from hence¬ 
forth, they who choose may “ hear the mighty 
waters rolling evermore.” Would that all could 
know how, by this mighty impulse, new strength 
is given to every power, — how the intellect is 
vivified and enlarged, — how the spirit becomes 
bold to explore the path of life, and clear¬ 
sighted to discern its issues! Higher, much 















110 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


higher things than these are done even in the 
early days of this second life, when it is re¬ 
ferred to its Author, and held at his disposal. 
Its hopes and fears, some newly created, some 
only magnified, are too tumultuous to be borne 
unaided. There is no rest for them but in 
praise or in resignation; and thus are they 
sanctified, and prayer invigorated. Thus does 
human love deepen the divine ; thus does a new 
earthly tie knit closer that which connects us 
with heaven ; thus does devotedness teach de¬ 
votion. Never did man so cling to God for any 
thing which concerns himself, as for the sake 
of one he loves better than himself. Never is 
his trust so willing as on behalf of one whom 
he can protect to a certain extent, but no fur¬ 
ther. None can so distinctly trace the course 
of Providence as they who have been led to a 
point of union by different paths; and none are 
so ardent in their adoration as they who rejoice 
that that Providence has led them to each other. 
To none is life so rich as to those who gather 
its treasures only to shed them into each other’s 
bosom ; and to none is heaven so bright as to 
those who look for it beyond the blackness and 
tempest which overshadow one distant portion 
of their path. Thus does love help piety; and 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. Ill 


as for that other piety which has humanity for 
its object, must not that heart feel most of which 
tenderness has become the element ? Must not 
the spirit which is most exercised in hope and 
fear be most familiar with hope and fear wher¬ 
ever found ? How distinctly I saw all this in 
those who are now sanctifying their first Sabbath 
of wedded love! Yet how few who smiled and 
wept at their union looked in it for all that 
might be found! 

Miss Martineau. 


BEAR AND FORBEAR. 


When young persons marry, even with the 
fairest prospects, they should never forget that 
infirmity is inseparably bound up with their very 
nature, and that, in bearing one another’s bur¬ 
dens, they fulfil one of the highest duties of the 
union. 

Hannah More. 






112 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


PRAYER AT MORNING AND EVENING. 

—♦— 

To prayer ! to prayer ! for the morning breaks, 

And earth in her Maker’s smile awakes; 

His light is on all below and above, — 

The light of gladness, and life, and love. 

O, then, on the breath of this early air, 

Send upward the incense of grateful prayer ! 

To prayer ! for the glorious sun is gone, 

And the gathering darkness of night comes on ; 

Like a curtain from God’s kind hand it flows, 

To shade the couch where his children repose. 

Then kneel, while the watching stars are bright, 

And give your last thoughts to the Guardian of night. 

Henry Ware, Jr. 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 113 


FAMILY PRAYER. 

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”— Joshua. 

The obligations of family prayer arise from 
our social natures, our common wants, and our 
mutual influence. There are family affections, 
which are to be hallowed by religion; there are 
family trials which are to be sanctified to us, 
and there are family habits which are to be 
made safe examples. Where children and 
servants have not the seriousness which Christ 
requires, family prayer will impart it. The 
head of the household here exerts a direct in¬ 
fluence, without any suspicion of his motives 
or sincerity. These prayers should be short 
and unlabored, full of tenderness and piety. 
That delightful and benignant sympathy with 
which God has bound kindred hearts together 
should be often, yet cautiously, touched. A 
rash or careless hand will immediately snap its 
cords. Most of our virtue is social virtue ; and 
the command to love those near us as we love 
ourselves includes every means for promoting 
10* 




114 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


mutual affection and happiness. Family prayers 
are a source of delightful union and reciprocal 
improvement, which it is truly surprising any 
Christian can neglect. — At the ninth hour Cor¬ 
nelius was praying in his house, when he was 
told, “ Thy prayers and thy alms are come up 
for a memorial before God.” “ He was a de¬ 
vout man, and one that feared God with all his 
house; who gave much alms to the people, and 
prayed to God alway.” If Scripture authority 
and example are of any weight, I ask those of 
you, in whose families no forms of devotion are 
statedly observed, on what principles you satisfy 
your consciences under such an omission ? 
Admitting that you aim at the manly virtues in 
your dealings, stand upon your honor, despise 
all fraud and advocate religion, still, in the 
neglect of God, of all acknowledgments of him, 
all expressions of love and gratitude, must not 
the character be essentially defective ? With¬ 
out ardent love to God, all outward acts are but 
the pageantry of virtue, a fictitious show, hol¬ 
low and unsubstantial. Almsgiving and devo¬ 
tion were proved to be mutually obligatory in 
the case of Cornelius; and you have no right 
to divorce them. Will you separate piety and 
charity, faith and good works ? Ye heads of 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 115 


families, in whose habitations no domestic altar 
has been raised and no voice of prayer uttered, 
can you think of the beloved companions, given 
for your solace, help, and enjoyment through 
the cares and burdens of your pilgrimage,— 
your rising offspring, as olive-plants surrounding 
your table, — your ample supplies of daily food, 
shelter, and health,— can you estimate these, 
and yet have a heart dead to all the warm aspira¬ 
tions of gratitude ? The day of mournful sepa¬ 
ration from your family approaches, when you 
can leave nothing but the remembrance of what 
you was. Will you leave that happy group to 
the bleak mercy of the world, without their 
having once heard you perform the great duty 
of prayer ? Will you leave them in doubt 
whether you have ever borne them to heaven 
in the arms of your faith ? Christianity is a re¬ 
ligion for families. It consecrates the social re¬ 
lations. It commits us to each other’s care. It 
draws round the family group the broad mantle 
of love. The more of the spirit of this religion 
we possess, the more we shall love God and 
love each other. God grant that we may walk 
in our houses with perfect hearts, commanding 
our children and our household after us to keep 
the way of the Lord ! 










116 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

If there be any members of a family wicked, 
! or ill-disposed, this practice is the way to re¬ 
claim them and make them good, by bringing 
to their minds every day the thoughts of God 
j and another world, and keeping their conscien- 
j ces awake. As to those of a family who are 
good, and desirous to grow every day better, 
j the practice of daily prayer makes them fixed 
I and steadfast in their religious dispositions. It 
j keeps their souls bent towards heaven and heav¬ 
enly things; it raises them more and more to 
such a spirit of devotion, as both prepares them, 
while they live, to be fervent and zealous 
amongst the faithful in the public service of 
God’s church, and when they come to die, fits 
them for spiritual joys and exercises among the 
blessed in heaven. 

The neglect of this duty breaks that delight¬ 
ful connection which the soul has with God; it 
brings an indifference to spiritual objects, and 
incapacitates the mind for the highest and no¬ 
blest action which is allowed it in this world or 
the next. 

Let us resolve to kneel side by side at the 
family altar, — and when we read the same 
Gospel, and kindle over the same page, then let 
us pour forth in mingling sacrifice our devotion, 











THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 117 


believing that He who numbers the hairs of our 
heads will not disregard the anxious supplica¬ 
tions of our souls, especially when they ascend 
for others as well as ourselves. 

“ To God may each assembled house 
Present their night and morning vows; 

Their servants and their rising race 
Be taught his precepts and his grace.” 

C. Brooks. 


NEATNESS. 

-h— 

I love to see thy gentle hand 
Dispose, with modest grace, 

The household things around thy home, 
And “each thing in its place.” 

And then thy own trim, modest form 
Is always neatly clad ; 

Thou sure wilt make the tidiest wife 
That ever husband had. 

No costly splendors needest thou, 

To make thy home look bright; 

For neatness on the humblest spot 
Can shed a sunny light. 

Anonymous. 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


— 

118 


DOMESTIC WORSHIP. 


Peace be to this habitation ; 

Peace to all that dwell therein; 

Peace, the earnest of salvation ; 

Peace, the fruit of pardoned sin; 

Peace, that speaks the heavenly Giver; 

Peace to worldly minds unknown j 
Peace divine, that lasts for ever; 

Peace, that comes from God alone. 

Jesus, Prince of Peace, be near us; 

Fix in all our hearts thy home ; 

With thy gracious presence cheer us; 

Let thy sacred kingdom come; 

Raise to heaven our expectation; 

Give our favored souls to prove 
Glorious and complete salvation, 

In the realms of bliss above. 

C. Wesley. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 119 


IS SHE NOT THY COMPANION? 


The prophet says, “ Is she not thy compan¬ 
ion ? ” This, perhaps, is the most lovely and be¬ 
coming idea of the relation that can be supplied. 
She is not, O man! thy superior,—she is not 
thy slave, thy servant, thy dependant; — she is 
indeed a helpmate; so art thou; — but she is 
u thy companion.” 

Yet as a companion she is distinguishable 
from every other. A brother or sister is a com¬ 
panion, but they are so involuntarily; she is 
thy companion by choice. Many are compan¬ 
ions for a while, but they are separable from us, 
and our intercourse may be lessened; she is 
thy companion for life. Let other companions 
be ever so intimate, yet they have their separate 
allotments; she is thy companion so as to have 
no interest of her own, but is an equal sharer 
in all the cares and comforts of thine. It will 
be confessed that there are some differences be¬ 
tween the male and female character, but the 





120 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

very differences render them the more mutually 
eligible as companions. 

The defective qualities of each are provided 
for in the attributes of the other. Both excel, 
but they excel in their own way. He is more 
characterized by thought, she by sympathy; but 
these properties demand and aid each other. 
The eagerness, the sensitiveness, the delicacy, 
the genius, of the woman would unnerve the 
man; and the courage, the inflexibility, the 
severeness, of the man would unsex the woman. 

Nothing can be more absurd than to oppose 
their respective claims, nothing more injurious 
than to separate them. 

Let the peculiar properties and places be re¬ 
tained, and all will be found adaptation and 
order. Let them be associated, and all will be 
found harmony and completeness. 

Jay. 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


121 


ADVICE TO THE MARRIED. 


Should erring nature casual faults disclose, 

Wound not the breast that harbours your repose ; 
For every grief that breast from you shall prove 
Is one link broken in the chain of love. 

Soon, with their objects, other woes are past, 

But pains from those we love are pains that last. 
Though faults or follies from reproach may fly, 

Yet in its shade the tender passions die. 

Love, like the flower that courts the sun’s kind ray, 
Will flourish only in the smiles of day; 

Distrust’s cold air the generous plant annoys, 

And one chill blight of dire contempt destroys. 

O, shun, my friend, avoid that dangerous coast, 
Where peace expires and fair affection’s lostl 
By wit, by grief, by anger urged, forbear 
The speech contemptuous and the scornful air. 

Dr. John Langhorne. 


11 





122 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE TRUE SPIRIT OF MARRIED LIFE. 

“—♦— 

The desire to promote another’s happiness 
implanted in the mind, it is scarcely needful to 
specify the forms of expression which it will 
take. The sentiment which is energetic and 
infallible may be left to itself to dictate these. 
In the various circumstances of their changing 
life, they who are united in this closest bond 
of friendship will be prompt to offer to each 
other the aid, and sympathy, and counsel, suit¬ 
able to each. In sickness, each will be the 
other’s care; in perplexity, each the other’s re¬ 
source and guide ; in dejection, each the other’s 
stay. Rich, they will be happy in each other’s 
good-fortune. Poor, they will be animated to 
patience by the view of each other’s fortitude. 
Joys will all be doubled, and sorrows lessened, 
by a free communication. In their own suc¬ 
cesses, as far as they can be called their own 
merely, each will hasten to communicate pleas¬ 
ure by imparting them, and receive the congrat- 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 123 

ulation which is ready to be offered; and in 
successes or disappointments of the other, each 
will have prompt congratulation to bestow, or a 
reinvigorating encouragement and sympathy. 
Conformity of tastes and habits will be studied, 
even to the abandonment of one’s own; for a 
dissimilarity in these is fruitful in the less occa¬ 
sions of variance. The tenderest regard to 
feelings, and most respectful consideration for 
opinions, will be shown. Inclinations will not 
only be obeyed, but, when they may, anticipat¬ 
ed ; nor will the worth of those little attentions, 
which, if they prove nothing else, prove what 
is much, a continually present and active kind¬ 
ness, by any means be overlooked. Each will 
seek to honor each in other’s view, by suitable 
demonstrations before others of the respect 
which is entertained. Each will seek to reflect 
credit on the other by maintaining a worthy 
character, and even by becoming attention to 
such inferior recommendations — for instance, 
of manners and appearance — as tend to at¬ 
tract good-will; for the consciousness that what 
others esteem is ours is one which the heart 
prizes, and to confer this happiness of a grati¬ 
fied and proud affection is a worthy and a gen¬ 
erous aim. The good husband or wife will fre- 









124 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

quently reflect upon the question, by what 
change of deportment or habits happiness may 
be increased, where most the desire is to have 
happiness abound. Concessions and improve¬ 
ments which the securing of this object seems 
to demand will be cheerfully made. Where 
intentions and feelings are equivocal, the best 
of which the circumstances admit will uniform¬ 
ly be attributed. Occasions of dispute, antici¬ 
pated, will be carefully shunned; or, unhappily 
arising, will as soon as possible be removed, or 
escaped from; for which is worst, — let any 
one who will reflect a moment say, — to pro¬ 
voke a displeasure, or to yield an argument? 
The most guarded forbearance and the prompt¬ 
est forgiveness will be extended to infirmities 
of character on the other part; for none are 
perfect, and to expect it would be to brave for 
ourselves a wounding disappointment. If it be 
by good principles, for the most part, that that 
character is controlled, one is to remember that 
none are faithful to their principles throughout, 
and to rejoice in the reasonable hope he may 
have, that those principles before long may be 
further effectual than as yet they have been; and 
in the worst event, — if it were otherwise, — if 
there were no such principles, — then an angry 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 125 


remonstrance would only tend to an aggravation 
of the evil. Suspicion of affection on the other 
part is not to be tolerated, but confidence in it, 
on the contrary, to be in all fit ways both cher¬ 
ished and expressed ; for nothing discourages 
and estranges like distrust. In short, as a dic¬ 
tate alike of policy and of conscience, of in¬ 
terest and of God, the unkindness of reserve 
and of neglect, of petulance and of passion, in 
all their forms of act, word, and feature, is 
watchfully to be shunned; and each individual 
sustaining this great relation is to find an excel¬ 
lent happiness here, as he may, along with the 
favor of God, in consulting with unintermitted 
earnestness for the happiness of another, whose 
welfare is bound up with his own. 

John G. Palfrey. 


n * 




126 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


TRUE LOVE’S PROGRESS. 

—♦— 

Time changes innocence to virtue strong, 

Or mars the man with passions foul and wrong; 

To warm and new emotions time gives life, 

Fluttering the heart in strange yet pleasing strife, 
Filling the quickened mind with visions fair, 

Hues like bright clouds, that rest like clouds on air, 
Deepening each feeling of the impassioned soul, 
Round one loved object gathering then the whole. 

So deepened, strengthened, formed the love that grew 
From childhood up, and bound in one the two ; 

So opened their fresh hearts, as to the sun 
The young buds open, — life was just begun; 

For this it is to live, — the stir to feel 

That bands us one in life, death, woe, and weal. 

And life it is, when a soft inward sense 
Pervades our being, — when we draw from hence 
Delights unutterable, thoughts that throw 
Unearthly brightness round this world below, 

Making each common day, each common thing, 
Something peculiar to our spirit bring. 

Richard H. Dana. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 127 


ADVANTAGES OF UNION. 


It was thus, surely, that intellectual beings 
of different sexes were intended by their great 
Creator to go through the world together : thus 
united, not only in hand and heart, but in prin¬ 
ciples, in intellect, in views, and in dispositions; 
each pursuing one common and noble end,— 
their own improvement, and the happiness of 
those around them, — by the different means 
appropriate to their situation; mutually correct¬ 
ing, sustaining, and strengthening each other; 
undegraded by all practices of tyranny on the 
one hand, and of deceit on the other; each 
finding a candid but severe judge in the under¬ 
standing, and a warm and partial advocate in 
the heart, of their companion; secure of a 
refuge from the vexations, the follies, the mis¬ 
understandings, and the evils of the world in 
the arms of each other, and in the inestimable 
enjoyments of undisturbed confidence and un¬ 
restrained intimacy. 

Lady Rachel Russell. 










128 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE PHILOSOPHY OF MARRIAGE. 


Seek a good wife of thy God, for she is the best gift 
of his providence; 

Yet ask not in bold confidence that which he hath not 
promised. 

Thou knowest not his good will, therefore be submis¬ 
sive thereunto; 

And leave thy petition to his mercy, assured that he 
will deal well with thee. 

If thou art to have a wife of thy youth, she is now 
living on the earth ; 

Therefore think of her, and pray for her weal; yea, 
though thou hast not seen her. 

They that love early become like-minded, and the 
tempter toucheth them not: 

They grow up, leaning on each other, as the olive and 
the vine. 

Youth longeth for a kindred spirit, and yearneth for a 
heart that can commune with its own : 

He meditateth night and day, doting on the image of 
his fancy. 

Take heed that what charmeth thee is real, nor spring- 
eth of thine own imagination ; 

And suffer not trifles to win thy love; for a wife is 
thine unto death. 













THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 129 


The harp and the voice may thrill, — the sound may 
enchant thine ear, — 

But consider thou, the hand may wither, and the sweet 
notes turn to discord. 

The eye so brilliant at even may be red with sorrow 
in the morning; 

And the sylph-like form must writhe in the crampings 
of pain. 

Happy lot and hallowed, even as the joy of angels, 

Where the golden chain of godliness is entwined with 
the roses of Love ! 

But beware thou seem not to be holy, to win favor in 
the eyes of a creature ; 

For the guilt of the hypocrite is deadly, and winneth 
thee wrath elsewhere. 

The idol of thy heart is as thou, a probationary sojourn¬ 
er on earth; 

Therefore be chary of her soul, for that is the jewel in 
her casket. 

Let her be a child of God, that she bring with her a 
blessing to thy house, — 

A blessing above riches, and leading contentment in its 
train. 

Let her be an heir of heaven; so shall she help thee 
on thy way : 

For those who are one in faith fight double-handed 
against evil. 

Take heed, lest she love thee before God; that she be 
not an idolater: 

Yet see thou that she love thee well; for her heart is 
the heart of woman. 

And the triple nature of humanity must be bound by a 
triple chain, 




130 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


For soul and mind and body: godliness, esteem, and 
affection. 

Affect not to despise beauty: no one is freed from its 
dominion; 

But regard it not as a pearl of great price : it is fleeting 
as the bow in the clouds. 

If the character within be gentle, it often hath its index 
in the countenance : 

The soft smile of a loving face is better than splendor 
that fadeth quickly. 

Hath thy wife wisdom ? it is precious. 

Hath she learning ? it is well, so that modesty go 
with it. 

In the day of thy joy remember the poor: so shaft thou 
reap a rich harvest of blessing ; 

For these be the pensioners of One that filleth thy cup 
with pleasures. 

In the day of thy joy be thankful : He hath well de¬ 
served thy praise: 

Mean and selfish is the heart that seeketh Him only in 
sorrow. 

For her sake who leaneth on thine arm, court not the 
notice of the world, 

And remember that sober privacy is comelier than pub¬ 
lic display. 

Marriage is a figure and an earnest of holier things 
unseen, 

And reverence well becometh the symbol of dignity 
and glory. 

The heart of the righteous is chaste; his conscience 
casteth off sin. 

If thou wilt be loved, render implicit confidence; if thou 
wouldst not suspect, receive confidence in turn; 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 131 


For where trust is not reciprocal, the love that trusted 
wi there th. 

Hide not your grief nor your gladness; be open one 
with the other. 

Let bitterness be strange unto your tongues, but sym¬ 
pathy a dweller in your hearts. 

Imparting halveth the evils, while it doubleth the 
pleasures, of life; 

But sorrows breed and thicken in the gloomy bosom of 
Reserve. 

Young wife, be kind to the friends of thine husband, 
for the love they have to him ; 

And gently bear with his infirmities: hast thou not 
need of his forbearance ? 

Be not always in each other’s company; it is often 
good to be alone : 

And if there be too much sameness, ye cannot but grow 
weary of each other. 

Ye have each a soul to be nourished, and a mind to be 
taught in wisdom; 

Therefore, as accountable in time, help one another to 
improve it. 

If you feel love to decline, track out quickly the secret 
cause. 

Let it not rankle for a single day, but confess and be¬ 
wail it together; 

Speedily seek to be reconciled, for love is the life of 
marriage. 

Let no one have thy confidence, O wife ! save thine 
husband : 

Have not a friend more intimate, O husband! than thy 
wife. 




132 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


In the joy of a well-ordered home, remember that this 
is not your rest: 

For the substance to come may be forgotten in the 
present beauty of the shadow. 

If ye are blessed with children, ye have a fearful 
pleasure, 

A deeper care, and a higher joy; and the range of your 
existence is widened. 

If God in wisdom refuse them, thank him for an un¬ 
known mercy ; 

For how can ye tell if they might be a blessing or a 
curse ? 

Bride and bridegroom ! pilgrims of life, henceforward 
to travel together, 

In this the beginning of your journey neglect not the 
favor of Heaven. 

Let the day of hopes fulfilled be blest by many prayers; 

And at eventide kneel ye together, that your joy be not 
unhallowed. 

Angels that are round you shall be glad, those loving 
ministers of mercy; 

And the richest blessings of your God shall be poured 
on his favored children. 

M. F. Tupper. 







THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


133 


DOMESTIC HAPPINESS. 


Domestic happiness, thou only bliss 
Of Paradise that has survived the fall! 

Though few now taste thee unimpaired and pure, 
Or, tasting, long enjoy thee, — too infirm, 

Or too incautious, to preserve thy sweets 
Unmixed with drops of bitter, which neglect 
Or temper sheds into thy crystal cup,— 

Thou art the nurse of virtue ! 

In thine arms 

She smiles, appearing, as in truth she is, 
Heaven-born, and destined to the skies again. 

Cowper. 


PURE LOVE. 

—•— 

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is 
of God; and every one that loveth is born of 
God and knoweth God. He that loveth not 
knoweth not God; for God is love. If we love 
one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is 
perfected in us. St. John. 

12 







134 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


RETURN HOME FROM TRAVEL. 


The bee hath its domestic cell, 

The wandering bird its nest, 

The beast its lair in forest dell, 

And man his home of rest. 

And tired with toil, with travel tired, 

The beast, the bird, the bee, 

By common impulse all inspired, 

Seek home’s sweet secrecy. 

Man, winged for farther, bolder flight, 
Privileged o’er earth to roam, 

Still bends, with ever*new delight, 
Towards his native home, — 

Home, made more sacred, made more dear, 
When travels far have taught 

How much about the heart, how near, 
Life’s early chains are wrought. 

Those chains around the heart remain, 
Through every absent hour ; 

And naught can free us from the chain, 

But home’s enchanting power. 


Bowring. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 135 


THE WORTH OF HOME. 


But what is it that makes home worth so 
much ? Why do we thus long for it, and strive 
for it ? Because it is the only place on earth 
where some of the chief blessings of life can 
be found. The closest and dearest relations 
which man sustains are found here, and here 
only. The most important and blessed connec¬ 
tions which man forms are found here, and 
here only. 

Another reason why home is what it is, is 
this, — that while it can make amends for many 
and many a loss, nothing can supply the place 
of home. And this is truth, — positive, sol¬ 
emn, glad, and holy truth. Who is willing to 
deny it ? Who is able to deny it ? Who that 
has, or has ever had, a home — who that has a 
heart to feel the meaning of the word — will 
deny it ? There is much of delight for us in 
this world; there is gladness in many of its 
paths, and a rejoicing in its gifts. The works 


# 






3 36 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

of God are full of beauty, the stores of nature 
are large and rich ; and as we mingle with our 
fellow-beings in the duties and enjoyments of 
social intercourse, there is a vast deal to engage 
our powers, to interest our affections. All this 
is too true to ask a word in proof. But gather 
these all together, — pile up, in one scale, all 
these glories, and graces, and pleasures; and 
when in the other scale I put home, which 
will weigh the other down ? Tell me, traveller 
over broad lands, voyager over separating 
oceans, visitor among different nations, what 
happier spot have you seen than this ? Where 
burns the fire brighter, where tastes the food 
sweeter, where bursts forth the laugh more joy¬ 
ously, where shines the day clearer, where 
does night draw over her shadows more quietly, 
and where does slumber shut down the eyelids 
in a more gentle repose ? Tell me, ye who 
wrestle with the cares of occupation, — whether 
pent up in the study, or the counting-room, 
with tired brain and aching sight; or in the 
office, with the irritation of other men’s per¬ 
plexities ; or in the shop, distracted with the 
wants and whims of a throng; or in the toil of 
those bodily labors, which you have chosen for 
your calling ; — tell me, is not the thought of 











THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


137 


home and the circle there—the ring of faces, 
the chain of hearts, the tune of voices — a 
stimulus, a support, an encouragement, a re¬ 
ward ? Home! what shall be taken in ex¬ 
change for it ? Choose from among the count¬ 
less treasures of this wide world. Let ambition 
spread out all its bright distinctions, — shall they 
outshine it ? Let wealth unlock its hoards,— 
shall they buy it ? Let pleasure sing her song, 
— shall it charm to forgetfulness of home ? 
Turn to the other side : let the world refuse its 
treasures; let plans for power be blasted; let 
toils for wealth be fruitless; let the cup of 
pleasure be kept from the lips; be misunder¬ 
stood, neglected, oppressed, — I ask if home, 
with its hearts to sympathize, its words to con¬ 
sole, its hands to minister, cannot supply what 
has been denied abroad ? Can it not cheer the 
fainting spirits, warm the chilled affections, heal 
the bruised, bind up the broken ? 

Home! it is the paradise of infancy, the tower 
of defence to youth, the retreat for manhood, 
the city of refuge for old age. Recollections, 
associations, cluster round it, — 0, how thickly ! 
Enjoyments are tasted there, whose relish never 
dies from the memory. Affections spring, and 
grow there, through all the turns and overturns 
12 * | 







138 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

of life, and which last on, stronger than death. 
The thought of its early innocence has kindled 
anew the flame of virtue, — almost smothered 
beneath a heavy mass of follies and crimes. 
The vision of home has come upon the soul of 
him who was dying in a foreign land, and made 
him feel that he would die willingly could he 
breathe his last breath in the midst of the famil¬ 
iar looks, and tender voices, of home. 

Is there a home in every house ? Is there in 
every dwelling this spot, made holy by love and 
confidence, by mutual kindness, mutual forbear¬ 
ance, cherished harmony, interchange of ser¬ 
vice, union of feelings and wishes and efforts ? 
Is it the abode of joyous looks, and sweet-toned 
voices, and helping hands ? Do we there find 
the brow cleared from the darkness of care and 
passion, the eye beaming the good-will of the 
heart, the lip dressed in the smile of a winning 
cheerfulness ? Or, on the other hand, do we 
hear within the sacred walls of home the rude 
tones of ungoverned anger, or the continual 
droppings of a fretful peevishness; the loud 
storms of strife, or the stingings of sneering 
sarcasm? Do we find constraint instead of 
ease, suspicion instead of trust, and, for gen¬ 
tleness and openness, ill-humor and caprice? 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 139 

Or, further still, do we find home the seat of 
weariness and disgust ? Do we hear complaints 
of its insipid routine, its tiresome monotony, 
its uninteresting sameness, its unbroken dul- 
ness ? Do we see any escaping from it, as from 
the house of bondage, the scene of nothing but 
vexatious drudgery ? In a word, do we all of 
us make home what it should be, what it can be, 
what it must be to make us happy ? We have 
delightful visions of home, — are they with any 
of us pictures of the imagination, or does the 
heart feel that they are realities? We warm 
with description, — what says fact ? Do we 
make it what we say it is ? Home! is it a 
dream, a beautiful structure of the clouds, a 
painted, gilded castle in the air ? No, blessed 
be God ! it can be made as real as the firm-seat¬ 
ed earth; as real as the voice that thanks Heav¬ 
en for its blessings ; as real as the hearts which 
it makes to run over with happiness. But it is 
duty only that can give this reality. Violate 
this, throw off the sense of responsibility, for¬ 
get what you owe to others, live on in harden¬ 
ing, deadening selfishness, and you may have a 
habitation, — but you have no home. 

G. G. Ingersoll. 




140 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


LOVE CANNOT CHANGE. 

—«— 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds 
Admit impediments. Love is not love 
Which alters when it alteration finds, 

Or bends with the remover to remove : 

O, no ! It is an ever fixed mark, 

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken j 
It is the star to every wandering bark, 

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. 
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 
Within his bending sickle’s compass come ; 

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 

But bears it out e’en to the edge of doom. 

If this be error, and upon me proved, 

I never writ, and no man ever loved. 

Shakspeare 


V 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


141 


A MARRIAGE SERMON. 


“ Marriage,” Dr. Wickliffe saith, “ is a sac¬ 
rament, and a figure of the ghostly wedlock 
between Christ and the Holy Church.” 

There is no other human connection which 
hath so high or so great a significance, as that 
between man and woman. For a king even, 
his coronation is a much less matter than his 
marriage, as having less spiritual import. It is 
not written, that in the beginning God created 
man, rich and poor, philosopher and peasant, 
but male and female created he them. There 
is no monarch’s signet that is typical of as 
much duty as the wedding-ring is. 

Marriage among Christians is not only for 
earthly convenience, but also for heavenly good; 
and if the spiritual purpose be not answered 
thereby, there are none so frivolous as not to 
feel the failure acutely, whether they know the 
cause of their suffering or not. 

Of primitive Christian marriage, Tertullian 












142 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

speaketh in these words: — “ What a union of 
two believers, to have one hope, one desire, one 
course of life, one service of God, in common, 
the one with the other! Both like brother and 
sister, undivided in heart and flesh, or rather 
really two in one flesh, fall down together on 
their knees and pray. Christ’s peace is on 
such as these. Where two are, there is he, and 
where he is, evil cannot come.” 

An irreligious is a sensual union; and sensu¬ 
ality is volatile. Tfye many irksome marriages 
which there are, are miserable, most of them, 
for the want of an indwelling, spiritual senti¬ 
ment. The woman is a traitress to herself who 
is careless about her husband’s piety; for the 
wife can seldom be loved long and warmly, un¬ 
less she can invest herself with a spiritual inter¬ 
est, unless she can engage her husband to think 
of her as “ a living soul,” — a spirit who shall 
outlast his earthly fortunes, and the earth itself, 
and of which he ife, under God, the earthly pro¬ 
tector,— a soul, the heavenly value of which is 
contingent, to some extent, on his earthly usage 
thereof. 

But for Christianity, women would have been 
still mere objects of lust. Pliny saith, that 
among the Greeks the betrothal-ring was some- 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 143 

times of iron, — a proper type of heathen mat¬ 
rimony ; but with us Christians it is of gold, like 
the city of God, towards the gate of which it 
is the purpose of Christian marriage to make 
man and woman helpmates together, while sol¬ 
emnly journeying on earth. 

It is because of their irreligiousness that so 
many homes are joyless; it is for want of that 
infinite depth of sentiment, of which Christiani¬ 
ty is in the human soul the fountain, that mar¬ 
riages are so many of them so vapid ; it is be¬ 
cause conversation is never in heaven, that in 
so many houses it is so monotonous, so without 
soul or interest; and it is for want of the pre¬ 
servative power of religion, that husband and 
wife so often find the warmth and delicacy of 
their early affection fail. 

The common notion is false, that where man 
and woman are both worldly alike, that there 
the absence of spirituality is no hindrance to 
their happiness; as may be inferred from this 
common circumstance, that the veriest debau¬ 
chee requires purity in his wife. Alas for 
that home in which the highest theme of the 
husband’s discourse is the last acute bargain 
which he made in business, or the levity, coarse 
perhaps, as well as trifling, which he last heard 




144 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


at the tavern! Alas for that home in which 
the wife, on opening her heart, discloses no 
traces of any nobler feelings than such as the 
larder or the laundry might suggest! Alas for 
her who establishes no higher claims on her 
husband’s regards, than mere fidelity to his per¬ 
son, and frugality and order in his house ! 

Marriage is an institution of God, and can 
possibly be enjoyed only in the spirit of God. 

Religious sensibility is in the human heart 
what the divine Almightiness is in the foliage 
of trees, the fragrance of flowers, the loftiness 
of mountains, and the lustre of the stars; even 
when unperceived, it is the fulness, it is the soul 
of bliss, especially of the purer pleasures, fami¬ 
ly love, friendship, and anticipation of the fu¬ 
ture. 

Out of the heart are the issues of life, mortal 
and immortal both alike. Connubial affection 
flows freely and surely only through those chan¬ 
nels of love which prayer keeps open from ob¬ 
struction. In every household, the warmth of 
pure joyance is, very much, proportionate to the 
•flame of devotion; and in most hearts, the puri¬ 
ty of their attachment is measurable by the ex¬ 
tent of their faith. 

To be happy together long, a man and wife 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 145 

must be in Christ. Of deep love reverence is 
one essential, and one which inevitably decays 
after marriage, unless the felt sacredness of the 
soul counteract the effect of familiarity with the 
person. 

The completeness of mutual confidence is 
another element in love. Now no human be¬ 
ings do or can maintain entire faith in one an¬ 
other, but those who also feel full belief in 
God. There are instances of exception, but 
they are only few; for, as a rule, it is only a 
religious is a confiding person. 

Of affection between man and wife, there are 
other component feelings, of which, in like 
manner, religion is the source; in brief, it is 
the soul of married life, it is the strength of 
married faith, it is the preservative of married 

j°y- 

The life of God in the soul is not only a 
right, but a vigorous state of mind; it is not 
only devotion, but is added strength to every 
other feeling, the affection especially of hus¬ 
band and wife. 

Husband and wife praying together before 
God are not only united in temporary thought, 
but more closely still; for while kneeling, side 
by side, they two have the arms of the Al- 

13 




146 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

mighty round them, the protecting, love-inspir¬ 
ing presence of the one God of their faith. 

Marriage has not only capacities of happi¬ 
ness, but of moral and religious improvement. 
There is no other feeling of the human heart is 
rightly such a support of personal religion as 
conjugal affection is. A man and woman 
dwelling together without the love of God is a 
melancholy sight, for it is such a loss of spirit¬ 
ual opportunity. Nay, holy men have believed 
that the nuptial is a sinful state, unless enjoyed 
in the fear of God ; and certainly, without that, 
it tends to sensualize the mind; it is in that 
case a heathen alliance, the appropriate pa¬ 
trons of which are Venus and the idol gods; and 
on such a connection the blessing of the church 
does not abide, but returns again, like the Apos¬ 
tolic benediction of peace, when supplicated on 
an unworthy house; the happiness thereof is 
evanescent, its duration is weariness, it is the 
profanest of all profane states, and its end,— 
its end! O, think how ominously awful is that 
state of mind, or else how terrible must have 
been its experience, which is conscious to itself 
of a secret complacency in the severance of 
conjugal bonds ! Remember the spiritual mean¬ 
ing of marriage, and then the possibility of joy 




THE BIARRIAGE OFFERING. 147 

in its dissolution is infernal; it is like a soul’s 
rejoicing over its own ruin, over its own lost 
sense of purity, its extinct capacity of prayer, 
and its vanished opportunities of right. 

Great are the spiritual uses of marriage. 
The serious seeker after righteousness experi¬ 
ences often a repugnance to speak of his moral 
feelings, of his sense of sin, of the law in his 
members warring with that in his heart, a con¬ 
flict to the terror and violence of which, per¬ 
haps, every faculty of his soul may be thrilling 
most intensely; also, many a one longs, but is 
unable, to speak concerning his heavenly de¬ 
sires, and so they are sometimes blighted within 
him for want of sympathy. Occasionally, too, 
a person is visited with religious doubts, which 
he shrinks from revealing; and so, through an 
unwise suppression, they fester into corrosive 
poisons within him, weakening the certainties 
of his faith, making self-examination distasteful 
first, and then disgusting; and thus, oftentimes, 
a soul is crippled, weakened, and embittered by 
unimportant scruples in doctrine, the operation 
of which ought to have been the opening, and 
thereby the strengthening, of the mind. 

Sympathy is an essential of the human heart. 
There is many a soul of noble capacities lying 






148 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


in sluggish darkness, for want of some word 
out of itself, some human tone, some little en¬ 
couragement, and that, perhaps, so slight, that 
even a child might utter it. Others there are, 
who are awake to righteousness, to all the lofty 
attainments that are possible therein on this 
earth, who revolve in their minds many plans 
of good, and who yet make no progress, for want 
of a quickening impulse external from them¬ 
selves. Often and often, for lack of a friend’s 
understanding word, does a good man’s modest 
diffidence grow into religious sloth. This want 
of sympathy, this dependence on external help, 
is God’s appointment; it is our nature ; it is in¬ 
cidental to us as social creatures; it is an or¬ 
dained occasion for the infusion of faith and en¬ 
ergy into the soul, and which, at the same time, 
carry along with them an increase of love, a 
contributary effect of the conversational chan¬ 
nel through which they flow. 

The formation of Eve out of the substance 
of Adam, bone of his bone and flesh of his 
flesh, is typical of the state of their descend¬ 
ants. Manhood and womanly nature are sup¬ 
plements, the one to the other; they are one 
another’s perfection. Wedlock is the comple¬ 
tion of two beings; it is a fitting of them to at- 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 149 

tain, by conjoint effort, an excellence impossi¬ 
ble to either of them alone. 

Between husband and wife there ought, to be 
no more religious reserve than between man and 
God; for they ought to confess themselves to 
one another as freely as to their Creator. 

The Catholic confessional is an institution 
according to nature, only the scene of it ought 
not to be the church, but the chamber ; and the 
agents therein not priests and laics, but friend 
with friend. Unacknowledged sin lies heavily 
and long, not only on the conscience, but on the 
whole soul, obscuring its moral perception, par¬ 
alyzing the will, when it would apply to the 
right; and sometimes it seems almost to assume 
a personality of its own, and to dare and defy 
the despairing soul to attempt self-inspection, 
prayer, or Christian endeavour of any kind. 
Oppressed with the sense of guilt, it is not only 
painful for a man, but even the remains of his 
better nature will oftentimes shrink from relig¬ 
ious meditation, as though from sacrilege. And 
not unfrequently, when a sinner would first be¬ 
take himself to prayer, there instinctively oc¬ 
curs to him the discouraging thought, u What 
hast thou to do, that thou shouldest take God’s 
covenant in thy mouth ? ” And often, when a 

13 * 







150 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


person has wrought out his repentance and his 
restoration to grace in unnoticed secrecy, and 
even when he feels in his heart the assurance 
of the divine pardon, he is yet conscious of a 
further want; since, restored to God, he wants 
restoring to himself, to his own self-respect,— 
for there is no moral strength in the man who 
is all distrust; with the storm of temptation 
around him, and the sea of life raging under¬ 
neath him, he is like St. Peter, who, even when 
walking by miraculous power, began to sink in 
the waves for want of a friendly voice. 

To dispel this distressing, discouraging sense 
of distrust, there is nothing so efficacious as the 
encouragement of a friend, as the utterance of 
affectionate belief in our moral recovery. The 
expression of hope for a sinner is like a com¬ 
munication of spiritual strength from the speak¬ 
er. God has made us mutual agents of good. 
Next to divine help, as afforded through Scrip¬ 
ture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit, confidential 
discourse is the best aid to righteousness. There 
is no such strengthening word as that uttered 
in secret by affection. Of earthly helps, there 
is none other is such a preservation from sin as 
mutual trust. Through the wants of our souls, 
as well as through the word of Scripture, does 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


151 


God exhort us “ to confess our faults one to 
another, and pray for one another.” There is, 
or should be, no spiritual intimacy like that be¬ 
tween husband and wife, whose hearts ought 
not only to be sources of love for one another, 
but of religious encouragement and strength, 
and ought also, after guilt, to be fountains for 
one another of moral healing. 

Religion is a household, quite as much as a 
church feeling. Good order among servants is 
better secured by the fear of God, than by the 
threats of a master; and with this additional 
difference, that in the one case they are made 
abject, but in the other cheerful, earnest, and 
holy, like the attendants on the person of the 
Lord Christ were. For cheerfulness there is 
no device like diffusing a spirit of faith, inas¬ 
much as where religion is, men and women 
there, children, flowers, animals, the four sea¬ 
sons, the Sabbath, and all things that are God’s, 
are loved; every day of the week then be¬ 
comes a saint’s-day in feeling, and life like a 
long festival. Work done as in God’s sight is 
done in joy ; and joy, entertained as in his pres¬ 
ence, is purity itself, and a preparation for still 
greater joy in heaven. 

Faults are incidental to our imperfect natures 










152 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

everywhere; but in a religious house even in¬ 
advertencies are not without their compensqting 
pleasure, since the master reflects with himself, 
while pardoning his servants, “ Even thus does 
God, through Christ, forgive me ” ; and rightly 
does he reason thus, since the grace to forgive 
is one token that the recipient thereof is himself 
forgiven ; so that what are unmitigated troubles 
to the worldly, to the spiritually-minded occa¬ 
sion thoughts of the Redeemer, of God, and of 
heaven. 

Yes, religion in a household doth make it re¬ 
joice evermore. Whenever the mind is pleas¬ 
antly enlivened by one matter, whatever it be, 
all other objects then become agreeable stimu¬ 
lants. The man who is animated by a public 
rejoicing feels not only the street pleasanter, 
but his own house also ; and the tradesman who 
achieves a piece of fortunate business finds 
that the same mental excitement, which was in¬ 
creased activity in the counting-house, is at 
home warmth towards his wife, good-humor 
with the servant, and tenderness with his chil¬ 
dren. In the same manner, but more conge¬ 
nially, does “joy in the Holy Ghost” com¬ 
bine with family love, and sustain, refine, and 
strengthen it. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 153 

There are some persons who have their im¬ 
aginations so excited by the possibility of some 
distant good, as to lose all taste for the little 
delights which husband and wife, master and 
servant, parent and child, may devise and re¬ 
ciprocate hourly almost. Which is the luckier 
man, he that can be happy in the smile of his 
wife, or he that must wait, wait, wait for the 
smile of fortune, and wait in vain perhaps ? 

In this w r orld, there is nothing of such value 
as affection ; and the most trifling expression of 
it, even though it be but a single word of en¬ 
dearment, is in the best ears a pleasanter sound 
than that of gold-pieces. 

“ The price of a virtuous woman is far above 
rubies,” Solomon says. Were there allotted to 
any one a female figure of solid gold, as a 
companion for life, who is there but would beg 
that it might be of silver only, that it might 
speak; and then of an inferior metal still, if it 
might only feel; and, then, that it might be, 
like himself, of earth, might it only accompany 
him about ? And yet, O human inconsis¬ 
tency ! husbands be many of them heedless of 
home joys, as not being an increase of wealth. 

Man is created to be a living soul, and not to 
be an alchemist; and the real want of his heart 














154 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

is sympathy, affection, love, and not the philos¬ 
opher’s stone. It would not be more unreason¬ 
able to transplant a favorite flower out of black 
earth into gold-dust, than it is for a person to 
let money-getting harden his heart into con¬ 
tempt, or into impatience of the little attentions, 
the merriments, and the caresses of domestic 
life. 

Willingness is capacity for pleasure ; and the 
gentle, softening nature of religion has an im¬ 
mediate tendency to produce it in the mind ; 
and possessed of willingness our hearts would 
thrill, not only to rare and great events, like 
revolutions in society, or large gains in trade, 
but also to every breath of life, even from a 
child’s lips, or in a neighbour’s “ good mor¬ 
row.” 

Man will not endure to be happy according to 
nature; and hence not only the porter at the 
gate, but the sparrow on the palace-top, and the 
martin under the eaves, have all of them more 
pleasure than the prince has withinside. 

Happiness is where the kingdom of heaven 
is, it is within us; and, again, like the kingdom 
of heaven, it is to “ be found by seeking,” and 
that to any extent; it is to be gained very much 
through contentment, peace, and willingness. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 155 

For the enjoyment of life, a man’s mind ought 
to be open, pure from dissatisfaction, clear and 
fresh like a dew-drop, which, small globule as 
it is, does yet receive into and reflect from 
itself all the flowers around, and the trees with 
all their leaves, together with the blue firma¬ 
ment, the sun, and the clouds. 

Happiness is like manna; it is to be gathered 
in grains, and enjoyed every day; it will not 
keep ; it cannot be accumulated; nor have we 
to go out of ourselves, or into remote places, to 
gather it, since it is rained down from heaven 
at our very doors, or rather withinside them. 

A series of little services are commonly 
more pleasure in the aggregate than a solitary 
act of considerable beneficence. A fortune of 
small gains, slowly but surely accumulating, 
undoubtedly affords incomparably a greater de¬ 
light than sudden riches ; and a wife’s tender 
expressions, heard two or three times a day, 
amount at the end of the year to vastly more 
and sweeter happiness than election to some 
high office by the united suffrages of the whole 
parish. 

Of earthly relations, those of husband and 
wife, parent and child, friend and neighbour, 
master and servant, constitute much the larger 





156 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


portion of man’s happiness; and are more im¬ 
portant, any of them, than all others together. It 
is in the observance, the refinement, the strength¬ 
ening, of these commonest, these greatest, these 
primal relations, that happiness is increased, 
and not in the inordinate accumulation of mon¬ 
ey, the acquisition of empty fame, or in luxuri¬ 
ous indulgences. 

Happiness is to be attained in the accustomed 
chair by the fireside, more than in the honorary 
occupation of civic office ; in a wife’s love, in¬ 
finitely more than in the favor of all human 
beings else; in children’s innocent and joyous 
prattle, more than in the hearing of flattery ; in 
the reciprocation of little and frequent kind¬ 
nesses between friend and friend, more than in 
some occasional and dearly-bought indulgence ; 
in the virtue of contentment, more than in the 
anxious achievements of wealth, distinction, and 
grandeur; in change of heart, more than in 
change of circumstance ; in full, firm trust in 
Providence, more than in hoping for fortune’s 
favor; in a growing taste for the beauties of 
nature, more than in the fee-simple inheritance 
of whole acres of land ; in the observance of 
neatness and regularity, household virtues, rather 
than in the means of ostentatious, and there- 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 157 


fore rare, display ; in a handmaiden’s cheerful¬ 
ness, more than in the improved tone of poli¬ 
tics ; and in the friendship of our next-door 
neighbour, more than in the condescending no¬ 
tice of my lord duke. 

Happiness, then, must be sought for in sim¬ 
plicity, and not in costliness; in the perpetually 
recurring, more than in the rare; in abiding 
peace, rather than in temporary raptures; and 
next after the well of living water which spring- 
eth up into everlasting life, in no sources else 
so sedulously as in those fountains which are 
fed by the never-failing love of relatives and 
friends. 

You twain are become one flesh ; henceforth 
you have one fortune in the world, a commu¬ 
nity in good and evil; and in the world to 
come, whether or not you shall have joint in¬ 
heritance of the same is greatly contingent on 
the conjoint character of your religious en¬ 
deavours ; which ought, indeed, to be now in 
resolution of twofold strength, in heavenly 
longing also of redoubled earnestness, and in 
virtuous achievement of twice as great success 
as hitherto, inasmuch as your religious helps 
and responsibilities are by your union together 
in Christ so exceedingly magnified. 

14 




158 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


Under the old dispensation, it was command¬ 
ed believers to write the law of God upon the 
door-posts of their houses; but the new dispen¬ 
sation, which is not so much a body of pre¬ 
cepts as it is instruction in the Spirit, will have 
Christian houses always and altogether, as though 
the Church of God were at them. Strive, by 
your reading of Christ’s covenant, and by solemn 
thought thereon, to fill yourselves and house¬ 
hold with that cheerful, gentle, heaven-aspiring 
spirit diffused by Christ’s presence through 
every house which he visited, whether Zac- 
cheus the publican’s, or that of Lazarus at 
Bethany. Suffer not worldly-mindedness to 
darken your eyes to the spiritual glories of a 
Christian home, for there is a joy therein, the 
loss of which is not to be compensated by the 
sight of costly and luxurious ornament. 

O, think not meanly of the lowliest home, 
for on this side of the wall of the city of God 
there is, or ought to be, no holier place. God 
himself is therein; human souls are therein; 
the records of Christ’s covenant are producible 
therein; there is worship therein; in each hu¬ 
man being that dwells within it there is going 
on in his breast that most mysterious, world-old, 
most momentous struggle between good and 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 159 

evil, sin and virtue, with their consequents, sor¬ 
row and bliss ; and, finally, in its chambers 
deaths, one after another, must occur, — mor¬ 
tality’s solemn dismissals of its subjects unto 
the King eternal, immortal, and invisible. 

O, judge not meanly of the spiritual capaci¬ 
ties of domestic life ! The concentrated knowl¬ 
edge of whole libraries, of doctors most fa¬ 
mous, of theologians most acute, of philosophers 
most accomplished, and of historians the most 
erudite, the results of a whole life of painful 
study among books, and of diligent inquiry 
with the learned, invaluable as they are in them¬ 
selves, and most essential to the well-being of 
society, are yet not to be compared with the 
insight into human nature, its spiritual laws, 
exposure, wants, and satisfactions, — with the 
moral habitudes, the thoughtfulness, the self- 
possession, the sweet and even temper, and the 
familiarity in applying principles to emergent 
uses, — with the readiness of sympathy, and the 
tenderness of feeling,—of which home is the 
proper school, and in which domestic duties 
discharged in the fear of God are, if not the 
exclusive, yet by much the most efficient in¬ 
struction. 

Books and solitude have their uses, and for 









160 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

the earnest aspirant after spiritual perfection 
they are altogether indispensable ; but they are 
not the only, nor yet the chief, means of the 
soul’s growth in grace, which is advanced by 
thorough acquaintance with the woes and the 
wants, the wishes and the workings, of one 
human soul far more efficiently than by a dili¬ 
gent perusal of a hundred folios. Such effect 
as is produced by even an uninstructed woman’s 
speaking out of the fulness of her heart could, 
for spiritual profit, be less dispensed with than 
a professor’s lecture, deduced from the wisdom 
of the ancients. Knowledge shall vanish away, 
but charitable feeling never faileth. 

The discharge of duty to one another is not 
only exemption from the sin of omitting it; it is 
also growing strength, and it is self-knowledge. 
There is no one duty, but the earnest, — not 
the careless and formal, or only customary, — 
the really earnest performance thereof thrills 
the mind with a consciousness of power, which 
is itself an increase of strength; but quickens 
into activity the disinterested feeling, and throws 
up from the soul’s depths, as it were, into our 
notice, truths which, for their beauty and worth, 
it surprises us should ever have occurred to our 
minds. Out of the heart are the issues of life. 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 161 

Books are but like broken cisterns of knowl¬ 
edge compared with that purer wisdom which 
is the spontaneous efflux of the soul, when per¬ 
vaded by a strong, devout desire to discharge 
righteously any one out of our manifold human 
duties. 

It is out of the bosom of our earthly families 
that we are born into God’s great family of 
heaven. 

My brother! remember thou, not only that 
the man is the head of the woman in authority, 
but, also, that thou art for thy wife the excel¬ 
lency of human nature, her all, — all that shall 
ever be hers of that fondness, that heroism, that 
unsuspecting confidence, that noble manner of 
thinking, so dear to woman ; and of which vir¬ 
tues she has this day been believingly married 
to thyself as the archetype. 

My sister! remember thou that of thy hus¬ 
band thou art his whole possession in the deli¬ 
cacy and tenderness of womankind, — his all of 
female worth. Remember that in gentle en¬ 
durance thou art for him his Griseldis; in trust¬ 
worthiness, his Lucretia; in humble beneficence, 
his Dorcas; his Penelope in faithfulness; his 
Laura in loveliness of character; and in self- 
sacrificing love his Alcestis. 

14 * 




162 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

By thought, prayer, and effort, strive, then, to 
maintain your undiminished height in one an¬ 
other’s esteem; and strive you must, since 
even the love of God can be sustained by en¬ 
deavour only. 

Finally, the observations which have been 
made on marriage and its moral uses, and con¬ 
cerning happiness and the means of its attain¬ 
ment, I pray you to accept. And I pray, God 
also bless you both. Amen ! 

W. Motjntford. 


THE MARRIAGE OF THE LAMB. 

—♦— 

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor 
to him ; for the marriage of the Lamb is come, 
and his wife hath made herself ready. And to 
her was granted that she should be arrayed in 
fine linen, clear and white : for the fine linen 
is the righteousness of the saints. And he saith 
unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are 
called unto the marriage-supper of the Lamb. 
And he saith unto me, These are the true sav- 
ings of God. Revelation. 
















m ‘ 



* 


* 




THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


163 


LOVE. 


♦ 


In joyous youth, \yhat soul hath never known 
Thought, feeling, taste, harmonious to its own ? 
Who hath not paused, while beauty’s pensive eye 
Asked from his heart the homage of a sigh ? 

Who hath not owned, with rapture-smitten frame, 
The power of grace, the magic of a name ? 

There be, perhaps, who barren hearts avow, 
Cold as the rocks on Torneo’s hoary brow ; 

There be, whose loveless wisdom never failed, 

In self-adoring pride securely mailed : — 

But triumph not, ye peace-enamoured few; 

Fire, Nature, Genius, never dwelt with you ; 

For you no fancy consecrates the scene 
Where rapture uttered vows, and wept between; 
’T is yours, unmoved, to sever and to meet j 
No pledge is sacred, and no home is sweet. 

Who that would ask a heart to dulness wed, 
The waveless calm, the slumber of the dead ? 

No ; the wild bliss of Nature needs alloy, 

And fear and sorrow fan the fire of joy. 

And say, without our hopes, without our fears, 
Without the hope that plighted home endears, 
Without the smile from partial beauty won, 

O, what were man ? — a world without a sun. 


/ 














164 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


Till Hymen brought his love-delighted hour 
There dwelt no joy in Eden’s rosy bower ; 

In vain the viewless seraph, lingering there, 

At starry midnight charmed the silent air; 

In vain the wild bird carolled on the steep, 

To hail the sun, slow wheeling from the deep; 

In vain, to soothe the solitary shade, 

Aerial notes in mingling measure played, — 

The summer wind that shook the spangled tree, 
The whispering wave, the murmur of the bee ; — 
Still slowly passed the melancholy day, 

And still the stranger wist not where to stray. 

The world was sad, the garden was a wild, 

And man, the hermit, sighed, — till woman smiled. 

Campbell. 


FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH. 

—•— 

Wiiither thou goest, I will go; and where 
thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be 
my people, and thy God my God: where thou 
diest will I die, and there will I be buried: the 
Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but 
death part thee and me. 

Ruth. 






-—-- 

THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. * 165 


THE WISH 


O, could I one dear being find, 

And were her fate to mine but joined 
By Hymen’s silken tie, 

To her myself, my all, I’d give, 

For her alone delighted live, 

For her consent to die. 

Together should our prayers ascend, 
Together humbly would we bend, 

To praise the Almighty’s name ; 
And when I saw her kindling eye 
Beam upward to her native sky, 

My soul should catch the flame. 

Thus, nothing should our hearts divide, 
But on our years serenely glide, 

And all to love be given ; 

And, when life’s little scene was o’er, 
We’d part to meet and part no more, 
But live and love in heaven. 


Frisbie. 





166 ' THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


INFLUENCE OF MARRIAGE. 


Habit and long life together are more neces¬ 
sary to happiness, and even to love, than is 
generally imagined. No one is happy with the 
object of his attachment until he has passed 
many days, and, above all, many days of mis¬ 
fortune, with her. The married pair must know 
each other to the bottom of their souls, — the 
mysterious veil which covered the two spouses 
in the primitive church must be raised in its 
inmost folds, how closely soever it may be kept 
drawn to the rest of the world. What! on 
account of a fit of caprice, or burst of passion, 
am I to be exposed to the fear of losing my 
wife and my children, and to renounce the 
hope of passing my declining days with them ? 
Let no one imagine that fear will make me 
become a better husband. No; we do not 
attach ourselves to a possession of which we 
are not secure; we do not love property which 
we are in danger of losing. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 167 


The soul of a man, as well as his body, is 
incomplete without his wife ; he has strength, 
she has beauty; he combats the enemy, and 
labors in the fields, but he understands nothing 
of domestic life; his companion is waiting to 
prepare his repast and sweeten his existence. 
He has crosses, and the partner of his couch 
is there to soften them; his days may be sad 
and troubled, but in the chaste arms of his wife 
he finds comfort and repose. Without woman, 
man would be rude, gross, and solitary. Wom¬ 
an spreads around him the flowers of exist¬ 
ence, as the creepers of the forests, which 
decorate the trunks of sturdy oaks with their 
perfumed garlands. Finally, the Christian pair 
live and die united; together they rear the 
fruits of their union; in the dust they lie side 
by side ; and they are reunited beyond the 
limits of the tomb. 

Chateaubriand. 








168 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THIS WORLD. 

—♦— 

Let ’s take this world as some wide scene, 
Through which, in frail but buoyant boat, 
With skies now dark and now serene, 
Together thou and I must float, 

Beholding oft, on either shore, 

Bright spots where we should love to stay ; 
But Time plies swift his flying oar, 

And on we speed, far, far away. 

Should chilling winds and rains come on, 

We ’ll raise our awning ’gainst the shower, 
Sit closer till the storm is gone, 

And, smiling, wait a sunnier hour. 

And if that sunnier hour should shine, 

We ’ll know its brightness cannot stay, 

But, happy while’t is thine and mine, 
Complain not when it fades away. 

So reach we both, at last, that fall, 

Down which life’s currents all must go ; 
The dark, the brilliant, destined all 
To sink into the void below. 

Nor even that hour shall want its charms, 

If, side by side, still fond we keep, 

And calmly, in each other’s arms 
Together linked, go down the steep. 

Thomas Moore. 











THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


169 


GROWING OLD TOGETHER. 

—♦— 

You have promised that through life 
We shall journey, heart-united, 

Husband fond, and faithful wife, 

And I trust the vow thus plighted; 

Hand in hand, and side by side, 

Through life’s storms and sunny weather, 

We will our one fortune bide, 

And at last grow old together. 

What if Time’s unsparing wing 
Of some pleasure has bereft us ? 

Let us not by murmuring 

Lose the many that are left us. 

What though youth and bloom depart, 

Swift as birds of lightest feather ? 

Why repine with feeble heart ? 

Shall we not grow old together ? 

Few indeed have been our years, 

Yet enough our hearts to bind, love, 

And to show how many tears 

In life’s brightest cup we find, love; 

Since, in our united youth, 

We twain sported on the heather, 

Dearest, it is meet, in truth, 

That we should grow old together. 

Chambers’s Journal. 


15 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


170 


RELIGION AT HOME. 


O yog who are at the head of families, 
husbands and wives, you who intrust each other 
with your closest secrets and your most impor¬ 
tant interests, let God be admitted to share your 
mutual confidence. Where there is no com¬ 
munication of religious sentiment and affection, 
believe me, the richest spring of social and 
domestic bliss is unopened and untasted. The 
subject of religion is one on which the female 
mind feels, more, perhaps, than on almost any 
other, a need of the most perfect confidence, in 
order to develop and keep alive its feelings. 
The perplexed and doubting spirit loves to find 
a breast where it can deposit them without 
fear or shame ; and would to God, that, next to 
Him, you might always find that confidant at 
home! Husbands and wives, let not this be 
the only subject on which you are ignorant of 
each other’s meditations, or destitute of each 
other’s confidence. Venture to disdain the false 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 171 

maxims and tyranny of the world, and tiy 
what religion will add to your domestic fe¬ 
licity. 

J. S. Buckminster. 


THE GREATEST CURSE OF HOME. 


When writers wish to exhibit the climax of 
human misery, they introduce us to a drunk¬ 
ard’s family. And truly, if there be any suffer¬ 
ing absolutely without alleviation from any 
human power, — any degradation below the 
brutes, — we are presented with it in the 
drunkard’s wife and children. Yet probably 
more than fifty thousand families in our coun, 
try are in a condition approximating to this. 

President Hitchcock. 







172 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


FEMALE FAITH. 

—«— 

She loved you when the sunny light 
Of bliss was on your brow ; 

That bliss has sunk in sorrow’s night, 

And yet she loves you now. 

She loved you when your joyous tone 
Taught every heart to thrill; 

The sweetness of that tongue is gone, 
And yet she loves you still. 

She loved you when you proudly stepped 
The gayest of the gay ; 

That pride the blight of time hath swept, 
Unlike her love, away. 

She loved you when your home and heart 
Of fortune’s smile could boast; 

She saw that smile decay, — depart, — 
And then she loved you most. 

O, such the generous faith that glows 
In woman’s gentle breast; 

’T is like that star that stays and glows 
Alone in night’s dark vest; 









1 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 173 

That stays because each other ray 
Has left the lonely shore, 

And that the wanderer on his way 
Then wants her light the more. 

L. E. Landon. 


A RE-MARRIAGE. 


A re-marriage took place at Cincinnati late¬ 
ly. An aged couple,— Germans, — who had 
lived man and wife fifty years, in happy peace 
and quiet, without a jar or connubial conten¬ 
tion, rode to town from Lick Run, Mill Creek 
township, dressed in bridal garments. The 
gay old couple were preceded in their bridal 
march by a band of merry music, and the 
whole train drove up to the door of the justice 
of the peace, where the marriage ceremony 
was performed. This, with the Germans, is 
called “ golden wedding,” and is frequently 
practised when man and wife have held a 
matrimonial connection of fifty years. 

Seneca County Courier. 

16 * 






174 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


BE KIND TO EACH OTHER. 
—•— 

Be kind to each other ! 

The night’s coming on, 

When friend and when brother 
Perchance may be gone; 

Then, ’midst our dejection, 

How sweet to have earned 
The blest recollection 
Of kindness — returned ! 

When day hath departed, 

And memory keeps 
Her watch, broken-hearted, 

Where all she loves sleeps, 

Let falsehood assail not, 

Nor envy reprove, — 

Let trifles prevail not 
Against those ye love ! 

Nor change with to-morrow, 

Should fortune take wing, 

But the deeper the sorrow, 

The closer still cling. 

O, be kind to each other ! 

The night’s coming on, 

When friend and when brother 
Perchance may be gone. 

. C. Swain. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 175 


“AS BEING HEIRS TOGETHER OF THE 
GRACE OF LIFE.” 

—*— 

This is that which most strongly binds all 
these duties on the hearts of husbands and 
wives; and most strongly, indeed, binds their 
hearts together, and makes them one. If each 
be reconciled unto God in Christ, and so heirs 
of life and one with God, then are they truly 
one in God, each with other; and that is the 
surest and sweetest union that can be. Natural 
love hath risen very high in some husbands and 
wives; but the highest of it falls very short of 
that which holds in God. Hearts concentrating 
in him are most excellently one. That love 
which is cemented by youth and beauty, when 
these moulder and decay, as soon they do, it 
fades too. 

That is somewhat purer, and so more last¬ 
ing, that holds in a natural and moral harmony 
of minds; yet these likewise may alter and 
change by some great accident. But the most 
refined, most spiritual, and most indissoluble is 





176 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


that which is knit with the highest and purest 
spirit. An ignorance or disregard of this is the 
true cause of so much bitterness, or so little 
true sweetness, in the life of most married 
persons, because God is left out, because they 
meet not as one in Him. 

Leighton. 


MEEKNESS AND LOWLINESS OF HEART. 


There is no true and constant gentleness 
without humility ; while we are so fond of our¬ 
selves, we are easily offended with others. Let 
us be persuaded that nothing is due to us, and 
then nothing will disturb us. Let us often think 
of our own infirmities, and we shall become 
indulgent towards those of others. Let us 
apply to our hearts these sublime and touching 
words of the Son of God :—“ Learn of me, for 
I am meek and lowly of heart.” 


Fenelon. 












THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


177 


ON A VERY OLD WEDDING RING. 


I like that ring, that ancient ring, 

Of massy form, and virgin gold, 

As firm, as free from base alloy, 

As were the sterling hearts of old. 

I like it, for it wafts me back 

Far, far along the stream of time, 

To other men, and other days, 

The men and days of deeds sublime. 

But most I like it, as it tells 
The tale of well-requited love ; 

How youthful fondness persevered 

And youthful faith disdained to rove, — 

How warmly he his suit preferred, 

Though she,, unpitying, long denied, 

Till, softened and subdued, at last, 

He won his fair and blooming bride, — 

How, till the appointed day arrived, 

They blamed the lazy-footed hours, — 

How then the white-robed maiden train 

Strewed their glad way with freshest flowers,— 
And how, before the holy man, 

They stood in all their youthful pride, 

And spoke those words, and vowed those vows, 
Which bind the husband to his bride. 




178 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


All this it tells; — the plighted troth, 

The gift of every earthly thing, 

The hand in hand, the heart in heart, — 

For this I like that ancient ring. 

I like its old and quaint device ; 

Two blended hearts, though time may wear them, 
No mortal change, no mortal chance, 

“ Till death ” shall e’er in sunder tear them. 

Year after year, ’neath sun and storm, 

Their hopes in heaven, their trust in God, 

In changeless, heartfelt, holy love, 

These two the world’s rough pathways trod. 

Age might impair their youthful fires, 

Their strength might fail ’mid life’s black weather, 
Still, hand in hand, they travelled on; — 

Kind souls ! they slumber now together. 

I like its simple posy too, 

“ Mine own dear love, this heart is thine,” 

Thine when the dark storm howls along, 

As when the cloudless sunbeams shine. 

“ This heart is thine, mine own dear love ! 

Thine, and thine only, and for ever j 
Thine till the springs of life shall fail, 

Thine till the chords of life shall sever. 

Remnant of days departed long, 

Emblem of plighted troth unbroken, 

Pledge of devoted faithfulness, 

Of heartfelt, holy love, the token, — 

What varied feelings round it cling ! 

For these I like that ancient ring. 

G. W. Doane. 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 179 


FAMILY LOVE. 


The spirit of family is the second soul of 
humanity. Modern legislators have too much 
forgotten this. They think only of nations and 
individuals. They omit the family, that only 
source of a pure and healthy population, — the 
sanctuary of traditions and manners, in which 
all the social virtues acquire fresh vigor. Le¬ 
gislation, even since the introduction of Chris¬ 
tianity, has been barbarous in this respect. It 
repulses man from the spirit of family, instead 
of encouraging it in him. It interdicts, to one 
half of mankind, wife, child, the possession of 
a home or a field. It owes these blessings to 
all as soon as they arrive at manhood. It ought 
to have interdicted them only to culprits. A 
family is society in miniature; but it is that 
society in which the laws are natural, because 
they are sentiments. To interdict a man from 
the possession of family comforts should have* 
been the greatest reprobation, the last punish¬ 
ment, of the law. Lamartine. 












180 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


IMMORTALITY OF LOVE. 

—•— 

They sin who tell us love can die ; 

With life all other passions fly, 

All others are but vanity : 

In heaven ambition cannot dwell, 

Nor avarice in the vaults of hell; 

Earthly these passions of the earth, 

They perish where they have their birth. 

But love is indestructible ; 

Its holy flame for ever burneth; 

From heaven it came, to heaven returneth. 
Too oft on earth a troubled guest, 

At times deceived, at times oppressed. 

It here is tried and purified, 

Then has in heaven its perfect rest; 

It soweth here with toil and care, 

But the harvest-time of love is there. 

Southey. 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 181 


FAMILY MEETING. 


In the summer of this year, his domestic 
affections, always of the most tender character, 
and embracing not merely those who surround¬ 
ed his own fireside, but all the members of that 
wide circle with which he was connected by 
the ties of kindred, were highly gratified by the 
accomplishment of a plan, which he had much 
at heart, for assembling them in a family meet¬ 
ing, to be held at his father’s house in Cam¬ 
bridge. It took place on the 20th of August, 
1835. Four daughters with their husbands; 
three sons with their wives; three unmarried 
daughters, and three unmarried sons, with twen¬ 
ty-seven grandchildren, assembled and spent 
the day together. 

***** 

Amounting, with a few other relatives, to 
fifty-two in number, they dined together in one 
room ; of all ages, from the old man of seventy- 
one, to the infant a few months old. After 
16 









182 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


dinner, the present of a comfortable arm-chair 
was made to each of the parents of this group, 
by the whole company, and the remainder of 
the day and evening were spent in amusements 
and recreations suited to the various tastes of 
the party. It was remarkable, that, of so nu¬ 
merous a family, the members of which were 
widely scattered, and of such various ages, not 
one was absent. 

# # * * * 

These lines were composed by him [Henry 
Ware, Jr.], to be sung after dinner. 

“ 1 Children’s children are the crown of old men, 

And the glory of children are their fathers.’ 

“ In this glad hour, when children meet, 

And home with them their children bring, 

Our hearts with one affection beat, 

One song of praise our voices sing. 

“ For all the faithful, loved, and dear, 

Whom thou so kindly, Lord, hast given ; 

For those who still are with us here, 

And those who wait for us in heaven; 

“ For every past and present joy ; 

For honor, competence, and health; 

For hopes that time may not destroy, 

Our souls’ imperishable wealth; - - 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 183 


“ For all accept our humble praise; 

Still bless us, Father, by thy love; 

And, when are closed our mortal days, 

Unite us in one home above.” 

I must add, that to no one, among all those 
who were gathered together, was this an occa¬ 
sion of more deep and heartfelt delight, than to 
the venerable head of the household, then in 
his seventy-second year, in the midst of a vigor¬ 
ous old age, his body unimpaired, his mind un¬ 
clouded, and, above all, his heart warming, as 
it ever had done, to all the charities of life, and 
yielding as readily to all the holy and tender 
sympathies of our nature. It was no common 
satisfaction to see flocking around him so many 
descendants, all prosperous in their lives, re¬ 
spectable in their characters, and happy in their 
families; two sons, and three husbands of his 
daughters, engaged heartily, honorably, and 
usefully in the same work to which his many 
years had been devoted (the Christian ministry), 
to which he had led them, and for which he 
had helped to prepare them; all looking to 
him as one to whom they owed much, under 
Providence, of whatever was worthy and valu¬ 
able in their lives. It was an occasion which 
none who were engaged in it can ever forget; 










184 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

and it left a lasting impression upon all their 
minds, of the good and happy influence upon 
life which may be made to flow from the main¬ 
tenance and cultivation of the domestic affec¬ 
tions. 

Dr. John Ware.* 


THE BRIDE AND BRIDEGROOM. 


That they may teach the young women to 
be sober, to love their husbands, to love their 
children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, 
good, obedient unto their own husbands, that 
the word of God be not blasphemed. Young 
men likewise exhort to be sober-minded. 

St. Paul. 

* From his Memoir of his Brother, Henry Ware, Jr. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 185 


DOMESTIC LOVE AND HAPPINESS. 
—«— 

Bot happy they, the happiest of their kind, 

Whom gentler stars unite, and in one fate 
Their hearts, their fortunes, and their beings blend. 

.What is the world to them, 

Its pomp, its pleasure, and its nonsense all ? 

Who in each other clasp whatever fair 
High fancy forms, and lavish hearts can wish ; 
Something than beauty dearer, should they look 
Or on the mind, or mind-illumined face; 

Truth, goodness, honor, harmony, and love, 

The richest bounty of indulgent Heaven. 

Meantime a smiling offspring rises round, 

And mingles both their graces. By degrees 
The human blossom blows ; and every day, 

Soft as it rolls along, shows some new charms, 

The father’s lustre, and the mother’s bloom. 

Then infant reason grows apace, and calls 
For the kind hand of an assiduous care. 

.The seasons thus, 

As ceaseless round a jarring world they roll, 

Still find them happy ; and consenting Spring 
Sheds her own rosy garlands on their heads: 

Till evening comes at last, serene and mild ; 

When, after the long vernal day of life, 

16 * 








186 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

Enamoured more as more remembrance swells 
With many a proof of recollected love, 

Together down they sink in social sleep; 
Together freed, their gentle spirits fly 
To scenes where love and bliss immortal reign. 

Thomson. 


A TESTIMONY. 

—t— 

I have observed, that a married man, falling 
into misfortune, is more apt to retrieve his 
situation in the world than a single one, chiefly 
because his spirits are soothed by domestic en¬ 
dearments, and self-respect kept alive by find¬ 
ing that, although all abroad be darkness and 
humiliation, yet there is still a little world of 
love at home, of which he is a monarch. 
Whereas a single man is apt to run to waste and 
self-neglect; to fall to ruins, like some deserted 
mansion, for want of an inhabitant. 

Washington Irving. 










THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 187 


A GOOD WIFE. 


Sir James Mackintosh thus beautifully de¬ 
scribes, in a letter to a friend, the character of 
his deceased wife. It contains one of the most 
interesting exhibitions of female excellence, 
and the power of female influence, we have 
ever met with. If there were more such wives, 
there would be less domestic sorrow. 

“ Allow me, in justice to her memory, to tell 
you what she was, and what I owed her. I 
was guided in my choice only by the blind 
affection of my youth. I found an intelligent 
companion and a tender friend,.a prudent moni- 
tress, the most faithful of wives, and a mother 
as tender as children ever had the misfortune 
to lose. I met a woman who, by the tender 
management of my weaknesses, gradually cor¬ 
rected the most pernicious of them. She be¬ 
came prudent from affection; and though of 
the most generous nature, she was taught fru¬ 
gality and economy by her love for me. Dur¬ 
ing the most critical period of my life she pre- 












188 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 

served order in my affairs, from the care of 
which she relieved me. She gently reclaimed 
me from dissipation; she propped my weak 
and irresolute nature; she urged my indolence 
to all the exertions that have been useful or 
creditable to me, and she was perpetually at 
hand to admonish my heedlessness and improvi¬ 
dence. To her I owe whatever I am ; to her 
whatever I shall be. In her solicitude for my 
interest, she never for a moment forgot my 
feelings or my character. Even in her occa¬ 
sional resentment, for which I but too often 
gave her cause, (would to God I could recall 
those moments!) she had no sullenness nor 
acrimony. Her feelings were warm and im¬ 
petuous, but she was placable, tender, and con¬ 
stant. Such was she whom I have lost; and 
I have lost her when her excellent natural sense 
was rapidly improving, and after eight years of 
struggle and distress had bound us fast to each' 
other, — when a knowledge of her worth had 
refined my youthful love into friendship, before 
age had deprived it of much of its original 
ardor,— I lost her, alas! (the choice of my 
youth and the partner of my misfortunes,) at a 
moment when I had a prospect of her sharing 
my better days. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 189 

“ The philosophy which I have learnt only 
teaches me that virtue and friendship are the 
greatest of human blessings, and that their loss 
is irreparable. It aggravates my calamity, in¬ 
stead of consoling me under it. My wounded 
heart seeks another consolation. Governed by 
these feelings, which have in every age and 
region of the world actuated the human mind, 
I seek relief, and I find it, in the soothing hope 
and consolatory opinion, that a benevolent wis¬ 
dom inflicts the chastisement, as well as bestows 
the enjoyment, of human life; that superin¬ 
tending goodness will one day enlighten the 
darkness which surrounds our nature and hangs 
over our prospects; that this dreary and wretch¬ 
ed life is not the whole of man ; that an animal 
so sagacious and provident, and capable of such 
proficiency in science and virtue, is not like the 
beasts that perish; that there is a dwelling-place 
prepared for the spirits of the just; and that 
the ways of God will yet be vindicated to man. 
The sentiments of religion, which were im¬ 
planted in my mind in my early youth, and 
which were revived by the awful scenes which 
I have seen passing before my eyes in the 
world, are, I trust, deeply rooted in my heart 
by this great calamity.” 











190 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


HOME SORROWS. 

—«— 

There is no spot, or high or low, 

Which darkness visits not at times ; 

No shelter from the reach of woe, 

In farthest lands or fairest climes. 

The tempests shake the stoutest tree, 

And every floweret droops in turn : 

To mourn is nature's destiny, 

And all that live must live to mourn. 

No home so happy, but that pain, 

And grief, and care, the doors will press, 

When love’s most anxious thoughts are vain, 
More anxious from their helplessness. 

And yet, if aught can soften grief, 

’T is home’s sweet influence ; —if there be 

Relief from sorrow, that relief 
Springs from domestic sympathy. 

The home that virtue hallows flings 
Another bliss o’er blessedness ; 

And e’en to sorrow’s children brings, 

Or peace to calm, or hope to bless. 

Bowring. 











THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 191 


THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH. 


And what object can be so dear to a man 
as the wife of his youth ? as she who first drew 
into one mighty and exquisite feeling all the 
sympathies of his heart ? as she with whom he 
passed the delightful season of virtuous court¬ 
ship ? as she who inspired him with all the live¬ 
liness and enjoyment of hope ? as she who first 
made him sensible of all the endearments of 
domestic bliss ? as she who so often leaned on 
his arm in his walks to the house of God, and 
in the journey of life ? 

And should infirmities more suddenly or more 
slowly begin to appear, then is the time for 
evincing and displaying a more grateful and 
unselfish affection. Has she not always been thy 
ministering spirit ? Has not thy happiness been 
dearer to her than her own ? O, then follow a 
divine example, — 4 1 remember thee, the kind¬ 
ness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, 
when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, 
in a land that was not sown.’ Jay. 






192 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


JOHN ANDERSON MY JO. 

—•— 

John Anderson my jo, John, 

When we were first acquent, 

Your locks were like the raven, 

Your bonnie brow was brent ; 1 

But now your brow is beld , 2 John, 

Your locks are like the snaw; 

But blessings on your frosty pow , 3 
John Anderson my jo. 

John Anderson my jo, John, 

We clamb the hill thegither; 

And monie a canty 4 day, John, 

We’ve had wi’ane anither: 

Now we maun totter down, John, 

But hand in hand we ’ll go, 

And sleep thegither at the foot, 

John Anderson my jo. 

Burns. 


i Brent , smooth. 
3 Pow , the head. 


2 Beld, bald. 

4 Canty, cheerful, merry. 











r ~ 

THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 193 


THE GOLDEN MARRIAGE. 


There is now much to be done in preparation 
for the Golden Marriage. That will be a great, 
a charming day, Fanny! Think only of the 
happy and virtuous united life of half a century! 
# * * * * 

There will be a great multitude of people 
assembled at the Dahls’ on the eve of the great 
day; and this is as it should be. This marriage 
must be as publicly and ceremoniously celebrat¬ 
ed, as a first marriage should be conducted 
quietly and modestly. Then people go on 
board to sail over a sea where winds and waves 
are often stormy; but here, on the contrary, in 
the Golden Marriage, they have completed their 
voyage; they have reached the haven, and 
can calmly hoist the flag of victory. 

***** 

If you wish to learn the true value of mar¬ 
riage, if you wish to see what this union may be 

17 




194 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


for two human hearts, and for life, then observe 
not the wedded ones in their honey-moon, nor 
by the cradle of their first child ; not at a time 
when novelty and hope yet throw a morning 
glory over the young and new-born world of 
home ; but survey them rather in the more re¬ 
mote years of manhood, when they have proved 
the world and each other, when they have con¬ 
quered many an error and many a temptation, 
in order to become only the more united to each 
other; when labors and cares are theirs; when, 
under the burden of the day, as well as in hours 
of repose, they support one another, and find 
that they are sufficient for each other. Or, sur¬ 
vey them still further in life; see them arrived 
at that period when the world, with all its 
changes and agitations, rolls far away from 
them ; when every object around them becomes 
ever dimmer to them ; when their house is still, 
when they are solitary, but yet stand there hand 
•in hand, and each reads in the other’s eyes 
only love ; when they, with the same memories 
and the same hopes, stand on the boundaries of 
another life, into which they are prepared to 
enter, of all the desires of this being retaining 
only the one that they may die on the same day, 
— yes, then behold them! And, on that ac- 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 195 

count, turn now to the patriarchs and the Golden 
Marriage. 

***** 

The aged pair sat in the anteroom, clad in 
festal garb, each in an easy-chair. Two snuff¬ 
boxes, a hymn-book, and a large nosegay of 
fresh flowers, lay on the table. The sun shone 
in through snow-white curtains. It was cheer¬ 
ful and peaceful in the room, and the patriarch 
appeared in the sunny,, light as if surrounded 
by a glory. 

***** 

The two old people smiled, and reached each 
other a hand. There arose a great commotion 
in the hall. It was the troup of children, and 
children’s children, who all, in holiday garb, and 
with joyous looks, streamed in to bring their 
wishes of happiness to their venerable parents. 
It was charming to see these groups of lovely 
children cling round the old people, like young 
saplings round the aged stems. It was charm¬ 
ing to see the little rosy mouths turned up to 
kiss, the little arms stretching to embrace them, 
and to hear the clamor of loving words and ex¬ 
ulting voices. 

***** 

By eight o’clock all the guests were assem- 




196 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


bled. They had drank tea, eaten ice, and so on, 
and now fell at once a great silence. The two 
old people seated themselves in two easy-chairs, 
which stood near each other in the middle of 
the saloon on a richly embroidered mat. Their 
children and children’s children gathered in a 
half-circle round them. A clergyman of noble 
presence stepped forward, and pronounced an 
oration on the beauty and holiness of marriage. 
He concluded with a reference to the life of the 
venerable pair; which was a better sermon on 
the excellence of marriage, for life, and for the 
human heart, than his speech itself. What he 
said was true and touching. There was not a 
dry eye in the whole company. A solemn and 
affectionate mood had affected all, and there 
prevailed a deep silence through the numerous 
assembly, but it was not that of weariness. 

Frederica Bremer. 









THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


197 


THE FIRESIDE. 

—♦— 

Dear Chloe, while the busy crowd, 

The vain, the wealthy, and the proud, 

In folly’s maze advance, 

Though singularity and pride 
Be called our choice, we ’ll step aside, 
Nor join the giddy dance. 

From the gay world we ’ll oft retire 
To our own family and fire, 

Where love our hours employs ; 

No noisy neighbour enters here, 

No intermeddling stranger near, 

To spoil our heart-felt joys. 

If solid happiness we prize, 

Within our breast this jewel lies, 

And they are fools who roam ; 

The world hath nothing to bestow; 

From our own selves our bliss must flow, 
And that dear hut our home. 

Of rest was Noah’s dove bereft, 

When with impatient wing she left 
That safe retreat, the ark; 


17* 





198 


THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


Giving her vain excursions o’er, 

The disappointed bird once more 
Explored the sacred bark. 

No borrowed joys! they ’re all our own, 
While to the world we live unknown, 
Or by the world forgot: 

Monarchs! we envy not your state, 

We look with pity on the great, 

And bless our humble lot. 

Our portion is not large, indeed, 

But then how little do we need, 

For nature’s calls are few ! 

In this the art of living lies, 

To want no more than may suffice, 

And make that little do.' 

We ’ll therefore relish with content, 
Whate’er kind Providence has sent, 

Nor aim beyond our power; 

For if our stock be very small, 

’T is prudence to enjoy it all, 

Nor lose the present hour. 

To be resigned when ills betide, 

Patient when favors are denied, 

And pleased with favors given, — 
Dear Chloe, this is wisdom’s part, 

This is that incense of the heart 
Whose fragrance smells to Heaven. 








THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


199 


We ’ll ask no long-protracted treat, 

Since winter life is seldom sweet; 

But, when our feast is o’er, 

Grateful from table we’ll arise, 

Nor grudge our sons, with envious eyes, 

The relics of our store. 

Thus hand in hand through life we’ll go; 

Its checkered paths of joy and woe 
With cautious steps we’ll tread;, 

Quit its vain scenes without a tear, 

Without a trouble or a fear, 

And mingle with the dead; 

While conscience, like a faithful friend, 
Shall through the gloomy vale attend, 

And cheer our dying breath; 

Shall, when all other comforts cease, 

Like a kind angel whisper peace, 

And smooth the bed of death. 

Cotton. 













200 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


WOMAN. 

—»— 

The woman’s cause is man’s; they rise or sink 
Together, dwarfed or godlike, bond or free; 

For she that out of Lethe scales with man 
The shining steps of nature, shares with man 
His nights, his days, moves with him to the goal, 
Stays all the young fair planet in her hands, — 

If she be small, slight-natured, miserable, 

How shall men grow ? 

For woman is not undeveloped man, 

But diverse ; could we make her as the man, 

Sweet love were slain, whose dearest bond is this, 
Not like to like, but like in difference: 

Yet in the long years liker must they grow; 

The man be more of woman, she of man : 

He gain in sweetness and in moral height, 

Nor lose the wrestling thews that throw the world; 
She mental breadth, nor fail in childward care; 
More as the double-natured poet each : 

Till at the last she set herself to man, 

Like perfect music unto noble words ; 

And so these twain upon the skirts of time 
Sit side by side, full-summed in all their powers, 
Dispensing harvest, sowing the To-be, 

Self-reverent each, and reverencing each, 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


201 


Distinct in individualities, 

But like each other even as those who love; 

Then comes the statelier Eden back to man : 

Then reigns the world’s great bridal, chaste and calm; 
Then springs the crowning race of human kind. 

Tennyson. 


LOVE THE BOND OF SOCIETY. 


Love is the great instrument and engine of 
nature, the bond and cement of society, the 
spring and spirit of the universe. It is of that 
active, restless nature, that it must of necessity 
exert itself; and like the fire to which it is 
so often compared, it is not a free agent to 
choose whether it will heat or no, but it streams 
forth by natural results and unavoidable emana¬ 
tions, so that it will fasten upon an inferior, un¬ 
suitable object, rather than none at all. The 
soul may sooner leave off to subsist, than cease 
to love; and, like the vine, it withers and dies 
if it has nothing to embrace. 

Dr. South. 












202 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


THE FAITHFUL WIFE. 


The venerable Dr. Chapin of Connecticut, 
now in his eighty-sixth year, thus responds to a 
consolatory letter on the recent death of his 
wife: — 44 My worldly loss is perfect. Of the 
million good wives in the world, not one, I feel 
sure, is better than she was, whom the Lord 
gave me fifty-three years ; affectionate, faithful, 
confidential, conscientious, guileless, discreet, 
making my home to me always the pleasantest 
spot in the world,—just such a wife as a pas¬ 
toral minister needs and should have. For the 
loss of such an associate, things secular and 
perishing have no compensation to offer. Con¬ 
solation, therefore, is of course out of the ques¬ 
tion. But in Christ there is enough; his pre¬ 
cious promises may be realized and enjoyed in 
their blessed fulfilment: 4 1 will never leave you ’; 
— 4 Lo! I am with you always ’; — 4 Peace I 
leave with you.’ ” His gracious presence thus 
more than fills the place made dreary by world- 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 203 

ly solitude. Here, as the Christian knows, A here 
is the true, the abiding, the rich consolation. 
Very soon, too, will the aged disciple meet the 
dear deceased, where the happiest connection 
will be dissolved no more. Comforted must be 
the soul that can honestly say, “ Blessed be the 
name of the Lord! ” 

New York Evangelist. 


LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT. 


The bad make the social world they live in. 
So also do the good. To the gentle, how many 
will be gentle! to the kind, how many will be 
kind ! How many does a lovely example win to 
goodness ! How many does meekness subdue to 
a like temper, when they come into its presence! 
How many does sanctity purify! How many 
does it command to put away all earthly defile¬ 
ments, when they step upon its holy ground! 
The corrupt mind elicits what is bad; and the 
pure mind brings out what is good. 

Dewey. 






THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


204 


THE MAIDEN AND THE WIFE. 

—•— 

/ 

The lover watched his graceful maid, 

As ’mid the virgin train she strayed, 

Nor knew her beauty’s best attire 
Was woven still by the snow-white choir. 

At last she came to his hermitage, 

Like the bird from the woodland to the cage; — 
The gay enchantment was undone, 

A gentle wife, but fairy none. 

R. W. Emerson 


BAD HABITS. 

—«— 

No lady wishes her parlour fumigated with the 
smoke of tobacco, or the exhalations of alcohol; 
nor her eyes disgusted with a vest or cravat 
soiled by snuff, or the drivellings of tobacco; 
nor her ears saluted by a voice stifled with snuff, 
or garrulous with the silly talk and indelicate 
innuendos of alcohol. 

President Hitchcock. 













THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 205 


SHE ’S STILL THE SAME TO ME. 

—♦— 

O, chide me not for weeping,— 

She’s still the same to me, 

Though she has long been sleeping 
Beneath the willow-tree. 

That name, so lightly spoken, 

Falls sadly on my ear; 

Deem not that death hath broken 
A spell so strong, so dear. 

Say not, she early perished, 

As flowers in autumn die; 

Say not, the form I cherished 
Dwells where her ashes lie. 

Now comes she near and nearer 1 
Welcome, my spirit bride ! 

Methinks she should be dearer 
Than erst before she died. 

F. C. Woodworth. 

18 





206 THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 


REUNION IN HEAVEN. 


How short is the earthly history of a family! 
A few years, and those who are now embraced 
in a family circle will be scattered. The chil¬ 
dren, now the objects of tender solicitude, will 
have grown up and gone forth to their respective 
stations in the world. A few years more, and 
children and parents will have passed from this 
earthly stage. Their name will be no longer 
heard in their present dwelling. Their domes¬ 
tic loves and anxieties, happiness and sorrows, 
will be a lost and forgotten history. Every 
heart in which it was written will be mouldering 
in the dust. And is this all ? Is this the whole 
satisfaction which is provided for some of the 
strongest feelings of our hearts ? If it be, how 
shall we dare pour forth our affections on 
objects so fleeting ? How can such transitory 
beings, with whom our connection is so brief, 
engage all the love we are^capable of feeling ? 
Why should not our feelings toward them be as 





THE MARRIAGE OFFERING. 207 


feeble and unsatisfying as they ? But, blessed 
be God! this is not all. Of this he has given 
us perfect assurance in the Gospel of his- Son. 
Though to the eye of unenlightened nature the 
ties of domestic love seem scattered into dust, 
the spiritual eye of faith perceives that they 
have been loosened on earth, only to be re¬ 
sumed, under far happier circumstances, in the 
regions of everlasting love and bliss. Though 
the history of a family may seem to be for¬ 
gotten, when the last member of it is laid in the 
grave, the memory of it still lives in immortal 
souls, and when the circle is wholly dissolved 
on earth, it is again completed in heaven. 

Cazneau Palfrey. 


THE END. 













* 

i' 










































• V 

1 i 






























































